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Back to School: What Do You Really Need to Buy?

August 27, 2009 By 4 Comments

We are only 6 days away now and back to school is all I can think about.  I will admit that it is because I am anxious to see the kids out of my house back at school.  They thrive under structure which the summer just does not provide.  So as we get closer and closer I started to think about the fact that I have done NO back to school shopping yet.  For a few moments I was really worried.  My heart beat sped up and the headache started to come on.  I was in a panic yesterday thinking about how I will afford all of it and how will I get it in the next few days.

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The more I thought about it the more I realized that there was just not a huge need, like I kept thinking there was.  So I made a list of what I needed to buy and what I wanted to buy.  I think that given the current state of the economy, I am not alone in my desire to separate wants versus needs.  The school does not help too much.  They want you to buy book sox.  I did find them in Walmart for $.50 each but come on.  Why is it that we do not reuse… You know the keys to a greener earth… Reduce, recycle and REUSE…?  Why do we have to buy something to cover a book?  I remember taking my paper grocery bags and spending time with my parents learning the fine art of book covering.  This was real bonding time.  Instead of this free option I had to add $2.50 to my budget.  Seems wrong to me.

Either way here is what I came up with:

Needs:

  1. All supplies on the kids lists
  2. A bookbag (we have decided to reuse old ones.  We are going to bedazzle them so that they are more fun this year)
  3. New shoes for Abigail: She grew like a flower this summer

I think that all in all that is all of the NEEDS we have.  Grandpa and Grandma were nice enough to buy about 90% of the school supplies.  So once I buy shoes my NEEDS are met.

Wants:

  1. New first day of school outfits
  2. New fall wardrobe
  3. New hair accessories to match all of their clothing
  4. New lunch bags
  5. A JanSport book bag for Abigail
  6. Winter coats
  7. Haircuts for the girls
  8. Fall jackets
  9. Book bag for Emma
  10. New shoes for Emma

The thing is that these are only wants.  It became clear the more I thought about it that we did not NEED these things.  I usually spend about $800 on back to school.  This year I estimate spending about $100.  I am sure that I am not the only one tightening my belt.  Abigail has a birthday in three weeks.  I am sure that between myself and her grandparents she will be the best dressed kid in 4th grade.  Most of the clothing out there for back to school is too hot for September anyway.  I will let you all know how this goes.  I am anxious to see how bad I am going to feel for not buying into the back to school.  I think that I may feel bad for a while but in the long run it will all be just fine!  The kids ARE going to live through it.  They WILL still be dressed nicely.  The most important thing is that it teaches them a lesson.  Money does not grow on trees…

LESSON LEARNED:  You do not have to buy into the commercial hoopla.  You can resist and live through it.

Becca

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Time Out: Does it Work? Parenting Tips

August 25, 2009 By 4 Comments
Two of a Kind
Image by aussiegall via Flickr

Time out is one of those parenting tips that everyone throws around.  It is something that is supposed to work.  I think that it all depends on the kid.  I have found that there are some things that you have to make sure happen when you do time out.  They have worked for my oldest, my middle daughter and even my two year old gets the idea.  The trouble is that even I forget that time out can work because from time to time I get too emotional.

Yes it is true that I tend not to keep my cool.  I yell and yell and yell a little more.  Then I throw them in time out while screaming some more.  I yell most of the time they are in time out.  If they stay in time out that is.

Then there are those other days when I do time out right.  Here are the steps that you are supposed to take with time out.  I have found time and time again that when I follow them time out is much more effective.

  1. Have an area in your house that is the time out spot.  This can be a step, a time out chair, a mat on the floor, or even a large stuffed toy
  2. Do not make your time out spot in a child’s bedroom.  This is where all of their toys and things that they love are.  If they are told to stay there where is the punishment?
  3. Only place your child in time out for 1 minute per year.  So if your child is 6 then they should remain in time out for 6 minutes.  This is because your child’s attention spans grow with the child.  You cannot expect a 2 year old to sit in time out for 10 minutes.  they just do not have it in them.
  4. When you are placing your child in time out remain calm.  This is so that the message is not lost.  If you remember way back when you were a child I think that you will remember that you stopped listening once people were yelling at you.   Kids are no different right now.
  5. Tell your child why you are placing them in time out.  Say, “Abby, I you need a time out because we do not speak that way in this house.”  This makes it clear to the child what they have done.
  6. Set the timer and walk away.  It is important not to engage your child when they are in time out.  If they get out of time out, place them back and restart the timer.  DO NOT TALK TO THEM.  This feeds into the game that they want you to play.
  7. When time out is over tell your child again why they were placed in time out.
  8. Do not force your child to say that they are sorry.  This is my own personal belief.  All you are doing is forcing the child to lie.   If they are sorry they will say so on their own.  I think that you should never tell a child to say sorry when they are not.  Many times the child is not sorry.  You are not looking for sorrow.  You are looking for an understanding of what they did and that it was not acceptable in your home.

Sounds easy right.  If you look at Nanny Jo on Supper Nanny she will even make you think that it is simple.  For those of you who know me you know that I am not a sugar coat it kind of person.  IT IS HARD.  It takes a lot of work and you have to be dedicated.

One more note… It is alright that you take a time out if you need one.  I have done it before and it works.  Sometimes it is not the kids but the adult who needs a break.

Do not handle time out like my favorite episode of Lucky Louise.  He did it all wrong!

Becca

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