Michigan Mother in Trouble for Helping out Friends?

The story has been out for two days now!  A mother in Michigan is in trouble with the state for putting three neighborhood children on the bus in the morning.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Why in the world would this be an issue?  Perhaps people have nothing better to do then to worry about a mom who is helping out.  I am so appalled by this!  With the economy it is more and more important that friends and neighbors use each other as resources.  My parents cannot afford to pay their friends to help out.  It is like a barter.  You help me and I will help you.  So why is this wrong all of a sudden?

As a mother with three children I certainly ask friends to help out from time to time.  They ask me for help as well.  That is whay friends and family are for.  This woman is not profiting, she is helping.  I am so flabbergasted by this entire situation!  My mother in law is forever talking about “big brother” watching.  I usually blow her off and poo poo the allegations.  Then a story like this comes along and I have to say that I agree!

What do you all think about this case?  Do you think that this mother should be a liscensed daycare because she puts three kids on the bus for FREE?  Join in and let me know what you think.  I am always interested in opinions!

Becca

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Time Out: Does it Work? Parenting Tips

Time out is one of those parenting tips that everyone throws around.  It is something that is supposed to work.  I think that it all depends on the kid.  I have found that there are some things that you have to make sure happen when you do time out.  They have worked for my oldest, my middle daughter and even my two year old gets the idea.  The trouble is that even I forget that time out can work because from time to time I get too emotional.

Yes it is true that I tend not to keep my cool.  I yell and yell and yell a little more.  Then I throw them in time out while screaming some more.  I yell most of the time they are in time out.  If they stay in time out that is.

Then there are those other days when I do time out right.  Here are the steps that you are supposed to take with time out.  I have found time and time again that when I follow them time out is much more effective.

1. Have an area in your house that is the time out spot.  This can be a step, a time out chair, a mat on the floor, or even a large stuffed toy
2. Do not make your time out spot in a child’s bedroom.  This is where all of their toys and things that they love are.  If they are told to stay there where is the punishment?
3. Only place your child in time out for 1 minute per year.  So if your child is 6 then they should remain in time out for 6 minutes.  This is because your child’s attention spans grow with the child.  You cannot expect a 2 year old to sit in time out for 10 minutes.  they just do not have it in them.
4. When you are placing your child in time out remain calm.  This is so that the message is not lost.  If you remember way back when you were a child I think that you will remember that you stopped listening once people were yelling at you.   Kids are no different right now.
5. Tell your child why you are placing them in time out.  Say, “Abby, I you need a time out because we do not speak that way in this house.”  This makes it clear to the child what they have done.
6. Set the timer and walk away.  It is important not to engage your child when they are in time out.  If they get out of time out, place them back and restart the timer.  DO NOT TALK TO THEM.  This feeds into the game that they want you to play.
7. When time out is over tell your child again why they were placed in time out.
8. Do not force your child to say that they are sorry.  This is my own personal belief.  All you are doing is forcing the child to lie.   If they are sorry they will say so on their own.  I think that you should never tell a child to say sorry when they are not.  Many times the child is not sorry.  You are not looking for sorrow.  You are looking for an understanding of what they did and that it was not acceptable in your home.

Sounds easy right.  If you look at Nanny Jo on Supper Nanny she will even make you think that it is simple.  For those of you who know me you know that I am not a sugar coat it kind of person.  IT IS HARD.  It takes a lot of work and you have to be dedicated.

One more note… It is alright that you take a time out if you need one.  I have done it before and it works.  Sometimes it is not the kids but the adult who needs a break.

Do not handle time out like my favorite episode of Lucky Louise.  He did it all wrong!

Becca

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Free Concert In The Park With The Kids

Last night we went to the Concert in the park with the kids.  We packed up a picnic and chairs and were off for the evening.  The kids were able to run all around and be kids and we were able to enjoy the music.  This is a 100% free event which is something that I always love.  The band was actually really good and played tunes from the beetles to John Lennon.  It is nice that there are still free things to do out there in the world.  With the economy in shambles and people struggling to put food into their mouths it is nice that there was something out there that could be enjoyed.  I think that sitting back, relaxing with the family while listening to some great music is what summer is all about.

Becca

Summer Survival

Here we are just 6 days into summer and I am more then done.  The kids are NUTS.  The house is a mess and I think that I have pulled all of my hair out.  The $30 worth of crafts I bought on Friday have all been done and I have no gas to take a trip.  I am not sure where to go from here.  We are all a little cranky and the baby is wondering why all of these other people are on her turf in the middle of the day!  I am lacking the motivation to do anything about it and the patience not to boil over.

Why is it that Summer vacation is still something that we need to have.  It was started to accomidate farming.  I am sorry to say that there are few farming families left here in NY.  I know of just 3 in the town I live in.  Why is it then that we have not changed all of this.  Why can’t the kids just go to school in the summer?

I know that all of this sounds bad but I also know that I am not alone in my angst!  Please September come quick.  I am not sure how long I can hang on here!

Becca

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Micheal Jackson: Funeral Arrangements Have Been Made

Today funeral announcements were made for the late Micheal Jackson.  It has been five days since his passing and many are waiting to find out when they join with others and morn his loss.  It is said that his body will be returned to the Neverland Ranch for a public viewing on Friday.  Come Sunday the family will have their own private funeral.  I understand that there is still some debate as to where his body will lie by the end of it all.  It is rumored that he will be returned to Gary Indiana where he started his life.  I am sure that it will be covered by the media on Friday and those wishing to watch from a distance and remember the king of pop will be able to do so.

Becca

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Jon & Kate Plus 8: The Drama

I know that my sister in law watches this show.  I have missed it.  I have been swept up into the real life drama surrounding this show lately.  The trouble is that I just think we should not care so much.  Is Jon cheating on Kate?  Is Kate cheating on Jon?  Why do we care?

I think that a lot of people get too wrapped up.  We all watch a reality show or two.  We look at these people and feel as if we are a part of what they are living though at the moment.  The thing is that these people are not on camera 24 hours a day.  These are shows.  The tapes are edited for added drama to an otherwise simple everyday life.

So why do we care if someone is cheating.  They are two people with a lot on their plate.  They have 8 children!  They are suddenly TV stars.  They are a family just trying to make it.  I think that even if they are cheating it is nothing we should worry about.  They owe us nothing.  They let us into a part of their lives.  That part of their lived has to do with how  to deal with 8 kids.  How do they go to the store and shop for food?  How do they get all of those kids to bed before 12AM?  The question is not about them but their family.  While cheating does effect family life I really feel that it should be out of the public eye.  The preasure of being a star has to be a huge strain.  Add to that 8 children and I may also want to run away with my body guard.

I pray that they work it all out.  I think of all of the kids and womder how one person can do it.  I am sure that neither one of them will be able to keep it together on their own.  Perhaps they just need a little time without all of us passing judgements!  Perhaps they need to disconnect for a while to reconnect!

Becca

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Happy Mother’s Day

I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you a very happy Mother’s Day. 

Becoming Mother:

As I came to there she was, this baby who had come to me.  Her entrance into the world was not an easy one.  I remember looking at her and the emotions that ran through me were too great to bear.  I sat and started.  I was in awe that this tiny thing had come from me.  She was beautiful.  She was mine!

I almost died having her.  I could not walk for about 6 months after but none of that matters.   My first baby opened a place in my heart that I had never known existed.  It went beyond unconditional love.  It is a feeling that you cannot describe.  It is the magical moment of becoming a mother. I will never forget that first moment that I met my princess.  I think about it each time I am upset with her, proud of her and even when I just look at her.

That same feeling of magic certainly entered into my heart the second time I became a mother.  This time my heart felt even more magic when I introduced Abigail to her sister.  It was as if God was in the room and blessing us with this new baby.  She was tiny just as Abby was and all of a sudden my first baby did not seem so small any more.  She was growing right before my eyes!

By the time we had our third I had thought that there was no way that the magic would still be there.  How much magic can one family have?  It was there.  The girls felt the magic the day that Analiese was born but not that mother magic.

I think that when you become a mother whether for the first time or the tenth time it is always magical.  It is something that leaves you in awe and warms even the coldest hearts.  Wether the baby is planned or not you feel that blessing from the first time you see that little baby that your love with your husband or partner have created.  That love lives on and on and never dies.

I would like to wish you all a happy Mother’s Day.  Take a moment today to remember when the magic entered into your heart.

Becca

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10 Happiest Countries: Not the USA

I read the following article about the 10 happiest nations to live in.  I was in no way to see that the great United States of America ddid NOT make the list.  I think that it falls back to the great American dream.  It is in Americans blood to work too hard, for too many hours.  I think that it started with our ansestors that came here from all of the various other nations.  They came here to live a dream.  Many of them failed but the ones who really made it worked and worked hard.

So here we are a nation of unhappy people so that we can struggle to live the dream.  The trouble becomes that as we are trying to reach the dream we forget to enjoy where we are.  We do not look around us and just think that we are blessed.  We tend to want more and more.  Perhaps it is because we are a society driven by money.  Perhaps because all of us who work so hard see the people who are profiting off of our work and think that we could achieve such greatness.  The trouble often becomes that we are just the worker bees.  We forget that we are here with other purposes.

I know that there are so many of us who want the new car, the house, 2.5 kids and a dog.  The trouble comes in that none of these things are making us happy.  We do not have any time to enjoy any of it because we are struggling to hold on to it all.  I think that it is really a sad day when we cannot enjoy our lives.  I know that many people are currently out of work and feel so depressed.  We as Americans have tied our entire worth as a person to our current job and the salary that comes with it.  This makes it life shattering when that job is taken away!

I also think that it makes it hard as a stay at home parent.   I know that each day I look at what purpose I have.  I think that my children have had some benefits to my staying home.  The trouble comes when people talk to me about what I do.  I am judged based on my lack of making money and my lack of working.  There are people who look down on me.  There are people who think that they are better then me because they have a job.  It is a constant struggle for me to stay at home.  It means that Rob has to work 2 jobs to make ends meet.  The trouble comes with my identity in this society.  I am viewed as less.  I am viewed as uneducated.  I am viewed as lazy.  The trouble is that I am rather educated.  I even finished college in the amount of years that you are supposed to!  I am not less and I would love to have a lazy day!

I know I am babbling but perhaps this is why we as Americans are not able to be happier.  I am not happy because I know that others think badly of me.  The people working their tails off are not happy because they are too tired to know what happy is and the people who are now jobless and homeless are feeling like there is nothing to be happy about.

The thing is that happiness comes from within.  I think that the more we act happy and really think about being happy the happier we will be.  Trust me I am not one of thos happy go luck people.  I have actually struggled with unhappiness many times in my life.  I just think perhaps the greatest nation in the world would be much happier if we all tried a little harder and worked a little less.

Becca

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Birthday Quandry: Birthday Party For Three

So here is the question for today…

My nephew, my neice and Analiese all have May birthdays all within two weeks of one another.  Each year we do a family and friends party for each kid.  This year we thought that perhaps we should combine all three of them and do one family party.  This means that family will only have to come to one party.  This means that it will be one day in the full month of May to have to donate to these birthdays.

So here is the problem.  Rob thinks that it is wrong.  He thinks that then friends and family will be strapped having to buy three presents all at once.  He thinks that it is just wrong and has told me to back out of the idea.  The trouble is that it was my idea and I still think that it is a nice one.  The other problem is that we have already mentioned it to people and how do we cancel now.  I am not worried about gifts.  Analiese is turning 2 and already has all of the clothing, toys and stuff that any two year old could need.

I want to know what you think?  Is this party a bad idea?

Becca

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Swine Flu: First American Life Claimed

The news is sad on this day.  The first American to die of swine flu has been reported!  I always think that it is sad that people pass but this woman was a remarkable woman.  Judy Trunnell was only 33 years old when swine flu claimed her life.  She was about to embark on a new stage in her life.  She was about to have a baby.  Her daughter was born after she slipped into a coma.  From my understanding of what I have read she did not even get to see her new baby girl!

Judy Trunnell was a school teacher, from Texas, who had dedicated her career to children with disabilities.  She was admitted intot he hospital yesterday and died yesterday.  Her family is greiving as I can imagine.

I would like to take this chance to send my prayers to Judy Trunnell’s family.  May they share in the joy of what she has left behind; a beautiful healthy baby girl.  I know her husband must now be having mixed emotions and I pray that he find a way to keep his wife Judy Trunnell alive in his heart.  I pray that he is able to show is new born baby girl all that his mother was.  I pray that this family work through this.

The flu this year  has truly been a killer flu.  I hope that we find better ways to fight this flu before next flu season.  I am asking that you please keep Judy Trunnell’s family in your prayers.  I do not know her but all I can think about is that baby without its mother.  My heart breaks just thinking about it all!

Becca

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