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Is My Baby Blind?? Part III

March 18, 2009 By 15 Comments

So there I was at home that afternoon.  Abigail and Emma were still in school.  This meant that I could look online and learn all that I could about blindness in infants.  I know that babies are not able to see well the first few days of life.  I read and read all afternoon.  I did not see anything good.  I saw ways to help your blind child, I saw ways to tell if your child is blind and a million other things.  I kept doing the experiments suggested in hope that she would see something and I could end all of this.

So I shined a light in her eyes, I pointed her to the window to see if she would look out it.  I did everything that every web site had said to do and still nothing.  I cried for about 5 minutes and then picked myself up!  I said, “OK so she is blind.  There are worse things.  She is healthy other then that!  You can do this.”   And there it was.  Just like with the Mastocytosis (which can become cancerous), just like the cerebral palsy I could do this.  It was all going to be alright.  I said it again and again and again until I believed it.  I started to read about what to do with children who are blind.  I read all about ways to stimulate blind babies.  If I could not change it then by God I would educate myself about it. analiese-coming-home-from-h2

As I called my husband and told him he had the same response that his mother had.  I told him all the things I had been looking at and was, by this point, even cracking jokes.  I told him that we could get another dog now because Analiese would need a seeing eye dog.  He even started cracking jokes about it which are worse then my dog one so I will leave it out.  We were ready for whatever was to come.  I guess it is the kind of thing we had been faced with before.  We learned early on to accept it, deal with it and move on!  Now I was in the moving on stages by the afternoon.  That is until my in laws all got together and sent a huge margarita glass filled with flowers.  I cannot tell you what the card said but there I was crying again.  Partly because it was all too much and partly because it is always nice to know that you are loved!  Love was what I needed right now and they knew it.  That is why they are so great!

All day I helped Analiese and tried to get her to track things.  My father was convinced she was following a rattle.  I had explained to him that she was following the noise and after about 30 minutes of trying other things he gave me a great big bear hug.  This is what my daddy is best at.  It was his way of saying it is not fair.  You have too much.  It was his way of loving me.  It was his way of saying it would all be OK.  Just like daddy always does!

Becca

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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Is My Baby Blind?? Part 1

March 16, 2009 By 23 Comments

analiese-coming-home-from-h

In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years.  There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week.  The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month.  The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!

I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby!  I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6.  They were so excited to have a new little sister.  I remember when they came to the hospital.  Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.

As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things.  She would not look at me.  In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing.  Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all.  In my head I kept saying, “she is fine.  You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).”  Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time!  She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.

Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it.  I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so.  She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.

As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious.  She looked through me.  Certainly not at me.  She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces.  So by the time she was three months old I was worried!  I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.

So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more.  I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me!  I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe.  Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking.  I blurted all of this out as quick as I could.  The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home.  Well that is not quite how it happened.  He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing!  Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face.  She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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My Emma is Sick!!

March 15, 2009 By 8 Comments
None - This image is in the public domain and ...
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So after all of the flu hype around here recently, Emma is sick.  I just cannot believe it.  She developed a fever last night.  I am just so worried about it!  I know in my head that I am being silly but really I am worried.  I wanted to sit in bed with her all night and make sure that she was OK.  I wanted to tell her I loved her 1000000000 times just in case something terrible happened.

Emma has had a flu shot and I am sure that it is something else like an ear infection.  All I know is when her temperature read 102.4 I was worried.  I was scared.  I prayed.  Yes I know that it seems silly but I guess that I am still shaken a little by the entire thing!  I just want my baby to be alright.  When ever Emma gets sick she does it right.  She gets a high fever and cannot function.  I think that in part this is due to the cerbral palsy.  Her muscles just do not seem to be able to do anything.

I still pray that my baby Emma will be alright with this whole thing.  I cannot bring her to the doctor because it is Sunday.  Poor Emma is missing her first Saint Patrick’s Day parade today.  She was suposed to march in honor of the young girl who died.  Some Girl Scouts have chosen to march in memory of her but I guess we will miss it and stay home sick!

Becca

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Pirate Party Time

March 13, 2009 By 7 Comments

For Emma’s Birthday Party this year we had a pirate princess party.  It was a lot of fun and we let our imaginations get away from us!  I had some friends help out from Floppy and Pals!  all of the kids had a great time.  Here a few of the things that we did:pirate-emma I cannot reveal all of my secrets though!

  1. We had a great scavenger hunt that led the kids all around the house in search of the treasure.  In the end the treasure was the Pirate Hat Cake. The kids were all so excited that it was cake time.
  2. We played a great game of freeze dance where the kids had to end up on their own island on the floor.  This was great because they got to jump all around and get out some of their pent up energy!
  3. We played pin the patch on the pirate.  This was a big pirate face that the kids were able to pin a patch onto.  The child who got the closest was aloud to pick a prize out of the treasure chest.
  4. We had the best face painter in the world painting princess and pirate faces on the boys and girls.  They always love a face painter!

There are so many other great things that you can do at a pirate party.  My nephew had a great pirate party too!  Here are a few activities from his party that were tons of fun.

  1. My sister in law filled balloons and some had winning tags in them.  The kids had to sit on the balloons and pop them.  Once you found a winner you could go and pick out of the treasure chest.  CAUTION do not do this if they are in bathing suits!
  2. My sister in law had a pinata which the kids love.  My husband is against it though so we never get to have them!
  3. At my nephews party they also had a treasure hunt because what good pirate party would not have you hunt for booty?
  4. The kids had a talk like a pirate contest.  They all had to practice using their pirate voices to get what they wanted.  The child who did it the best for the entire party won a little extra treasure.

There are so many other ideas for a pirate party.  Why not leave your favorite one.  This will give us all a chance to have a great pirate adventure right in our very own homes.

Becca

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National Disability Awareness Month

March 11, 2009 By 42 Comments
Disabled persons
Image via Wikipedia

It has come to my attention that March is Disability Awareness Month.  Alright so I am 11 days late!  I just could not let it go without discussing it with all of you.  You see this is something that personally touches my family on a daily basis.  Two out of my three children have disabilities so you can see why I may find it so important.  It is something that I cannot to ignore.

Emma has mild, thank God, Cerebral Palsy.  As an infant she was not able to move the left side of her body.  Drinking bottles and eating were things that she had to be taught how to do.  She has had motor planning issues associated with this muscle weakness and has a very weak upper body.  This weakness impacts her speech, ability to run and play easily like other kids do and her ability to learn at the same rate as the other children.

As an infant we made sure that Emma received Early Intervention.  I feel that it is why she is doing as good as she is.  From the time she was 5 months old until the time she was three we would have 7-9 visits from therapists a week.  She would also go to a parent tot gymnastics program and counseling was available to anyone in the family.  New York really holds their Early Intervention program to high standards and I think that this is the only reason that Emma has done so well.

Today Emma still has some issues.  They are certainly noticable to me but if I did not tell you; you would never know.  Emma was mainstreamed in kindergarten this year.  She is behind the rest of the kids but still showing progress.  She can walk and talk although she gets tired much quicker then other kids.  She has broken out of her shell this year and socializes with the other kids.  I am so proud of how far we have come in 5 years.  5 years ago she could not move half of her body and now she is running with the other kids.  Even if it is a few paces behind she is still doing it!

Abigail has an emotional disability which is called bipolar.  This has been a tough one.  She rages, goes from extreme to extreme and is always angry.  In her fits she has told her sisters that she is going to kill them.  She throws all of the pictures off of her walls and her books off of their shelves.  She even has tried on more then one occasion to jump out of second story windows and has tried to jump out of a moving car.  She does not think through consequences and is VERY difficult.

The thing about Abigail that just breaks my heart is that she does not want to act like this.   She has cried many times after telling me that she wants to die.  She has told me that she tries so hard to keep it together.  She has told me that she just hates herself and that she is like this.  It breaks my heart.

We just started Abigail on medication.  I have read that with bipolar it is about the only way to assure that they will feel more balanced, more like you and I feel.  This is a disease that children suffer with.  I feel that medication is the same as giving a child medication for diabetes or a heart condition.  How could you not treat it.  The statistics of the suicide rate is enough to make me want my daughter on medication.  Medication also reduces the likelihood of future drug abuse.

So there you have it.   The most intimate parts of my life!  These kids are everything to me.  When I was discussing this with them they had a few things to add.

  1. Please do not look at me funny.  I am a kids with feelings just like anyone else they get hurt.  With Abigail I think that they are hurt even more then your average kids.
  2. Do not be afraid to play with kids who are different.  Once you are with them you will see that they are not as different as you thought!
  3. Be kind and respectful.  Even though these kids are not what you would call “normal” they are kids!  They respond best to kindness just as any other kid would.

I think that we should all take a little time this month to think about these children and adults.  They are still people.  Their feelings are hurt with every weird eye people look at them with.  They are hurt a little deeper each time!  Please educate yourself and your children about disabilities and why it is so important to treat everyone, including the people who are different, with kindness and respect.

Becca

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Moving

March 1, 2009 By 19 Comments

house-3Last week we found the perfect house.  It is a typical old house with hardwood floors, a large livingroom and 4 bedrooms.  Right away we took it.  It was a no brainer.  For the same amount of money that we pay now we are getting so much more.

The first thing that made it a huge no brainer is that there are four… yes I said four bedrooms!  Right now we have two and for the 5 of us it is a tight squeeze.  The girls are so excited that they were able to go to the house today and pick their rooms.  Abigail picked the room leading to the attic.  Rob was against it at first but has given in.  He had thought that she would be scared but she is more then excited.  She wants to have a spot in the attic to write.  She is a lot like her mom in that she loves to write, tell tales and imagine.  She is super excited that she has gotten the room she wanted.

Emma is excited also.  She and Analiese may still share a room although Emma is unsure.  She hates when Analiese cries and wakes her up in the morning.  I think that them sharing still will be the way it turns out.  This will allow a play room.  I am siked about this.  A play room will mean that the toys have a home other then their rooms where they get messed up!

house-2

I am super excited about a bunch of things.   Rob and I will have a door again!  I did not think that it would be bad not having a door but I am really excited to be getting one again.  I also have a small area to make an office, a dining room and a fireplace.  Oh and the best part is that we have a huge front porch.

I led a tour to all of our family members today.  They all really loved it.  I think that it is going to be so great!  The kids already had  a blast in our new backyard and Abigail even mentioned that she found the perfect tree (she like to climb trees).  I think we are going to be VERY happy in our new home!

Becca

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Addicted??

February 22, 2009 By 8 Comments
television
Image by Walt Jabsco via Flickr

All this makes me think of is: might as well face it your addicted to… love, right?  Well not in this case.  My family is addicted to TV.  If the boob tube is on they are off.  I find it to be very amazing.  How could three people be so addicted to something so stupid?  Don’t get me wrong.  I love a good show or movie as much as the rest of them.  There are just a few things that I do not understand about the television and it’s powers!  Some examples of my lack of understanding are…

  1. Why is it that once the television goes on it cannot go back off.  They all just sit there.  It is like they have a been entranced and will be hurt if they were to look away even for a moment.
  2. Even though there is often nothing good on they will still watch.  I flip through the channels and see that nothing I want to watch is on and then I do something quite odd… I turn it OFF!
  3. WHy does it have to be on all of the time and loud?  This is perplexing to me.  I just do not understand why three people, with perfect hearing, need to listen to the television so loud.  This is such a problem that I even had Abigail’s hearing tested.  I really thought that she was deaf.
  4. Why can’t they hear?  I call and I call and I call and nothing.  It is not until I turn the television off that they seem to be able to hear again.  Once I have done this tensions are running high in our house again!
  5. Once I turn the television off, you know after I have called them all for about a half of an hour.  This causes arguing close to a person who is addicted to crack!  The thing is that this is usually the only way I can get their attention.

All in all I just have trouble figuring out what makes the television so addictive?  I just do not get it.  I would so much rather be playing a game with them.  I would rather be doing just about anything with them.  This television addiction has become so bad that we have had to establish some rules in our house.  These rules are followed most days although I am not perfect.  There certainly are days that it is just not worth the fight!  So here are the rules which yes as I had stated are sometimes lax.

  1. NO television in the morning before school.  I think that without this rule we would never make it to school on time.
  2. In the evening they can watch 2 30 minute shows. after this the television should go off.  The problem seems to be when I turn it off they get angry.  I mean ANGRY!!!  Abigail will start screaming and throwing a fit, Rob decides that I have committed a sin and will not talk to me and Emma whines.  I know it makes you wonder why I turn it off at all!  Some days I wonder too.
  3. The television cannot be louder then 30.  If this rule is broken it is simply turned off.
  4. The kids are only aloud to watch certain channels and only certain shows on those channels.  They can watch Disney channel, PBS, Nickelodeon (depending on the show), and HBO family.  Rob is not allowed to watch anything rated higher then pg when the kids are awake. I know that this seems to be a no brainer but you would be amazed that the things he tries to watch when they are running around!

All in all I have to say I hate television.  I wish that we could cancel cable and just be done.  I think that it would make my life so much easier!

Becca

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What Are Schools Really Teaching????

February 21, 2009 By 11 Comments
The cigarette is the most common method of smo...
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I had an odd conversation with Abigail the other day which made me wonder what are schools teaching my child.  Abigail, who is now 8, and I were driving in the car and she said the oddest thing to me.  This is how our conversation went…

A.  “Mommy, I hate that Daddy smokes”

Me.  “I know I do too but he only smokes once in a while and never around us.”

At this point I figured that the conversation would end but with Abigail the conversation never seems to end.

A.  “Well why do people smoke?”

Me.  “I think that people start because they think that they look cool and then it is hard to stop.”

A.  “Well Daddy must be stupid then.”

Me.  “No Abigail a lot of people used to smoke.  They did not know a long time ago that it was bad for you.  Even your grandma smoked right up until mommy was in college.  It was just something that was not thought of as a bad thing for your health like it is today.”

A.  “Oh wow mommy, did grandma do drugs the whole time you were growing up?”

OK this is where I am questioning what my kids are learning in school.  Since when is smoking considered being a drug addiction?  From this point I quickly tried to explain that people who are called drug addicts do drugs that are not legal.  Cigarettes and alcohol are legal but you have to be an adult to buy them.  So by the end of this conversation I was wondering if she raised her hand in the middle of class and told them all that her dad is a drug addict?  You never know with that one.  I am walking on eggshells just waiting for the school to call about my drug addict husband.

Perhaps this makes it clear that 3rd graders are confusing the messages that they are getting.  Perhaps their young minds are just not ready to tell a difference between a smoker, a drug addict and an alcoholic.  My concern comes in that no one is clearing all of this up for them!  They walk around thinking that their father is a druggie because he smokes a cigarette every few days.  Oh and to top it off Emma, my 5 year old, hates Obama because he smokes.  She has learned in school that this means we should not respect our president.  Oh the things that they are learning are astonishing to me.  I would settle for some good old reading skills.  I think that this is an important lesson in assuring that your children get the messages being pushed on them.  You do not want to be a druggie in their eyes like my husband apparently is!

Becca

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Outside Will Get You?

February 12, 2009 By 18 Comments

abby-in-leaves

As a child I can remember going out to play.  Yes it is true!  We would play in our yard or a friends yard.  We would even take a walk around the neighborhood.  We would do anything to get out of the house.  You know we would be kids!

What is going on with the world today that a child can no longer be a child?  Why is it that we do not feel that our children need outside time?  Why have we let the media taint how children grow up?  These are all things that I have become passionate about.  There really is no more risk for bad things then there used to be.  There are just as many bad people out there but lets get real.

  1. The bad guys do not out number the good guys.  I know that the news that we watch would make us think that the bad guys are all just waiting for us to open our doors and let our kids out.  The truth is that they are not!  I do not want you to misunderstand there are bad guys.  There are men and women who take and hurt children.  How many are there really though and why do you think that they want your child?  Statistics do show though that these men and women who abduct children often know the children!  So where is the danger?
  2. The kids are safer inside.  Oh here is an arguement!  You are right it is much better to have your kids cooped up in the house playing video games or watching TV then it is to open the door and tell them to go play.  I do not know the exact numbers here but I am pretty sure that the number of kids who die a little everyday from childhood obesity are much worse off then the kids who are out climbing trees.
  3. Kids will go with anyone.  I am sorry but I know that Abigail and Emma are smart.  I know that they would not talk to anyone or approach a car.   This is because I have taught them if there is stranger danger to say no then go and tell someone you trust.  They have street smarts and are a pair.  They use the buddy system daily.  They know what to do and I am never all that far away.  Not to mention I peek outside from time to time to see where they are, what they are doing and why!

Now I know that some of you will come back and have a lot to say and for you, all I can say is remember.  That is right, take a moment and remember when you were a kid.  You played outside until you heard your mom calling you for dinner.   I think that it would be fair to say that we are keeping our kids back by not affording them the same opportunity.  So if you need to call DSS go ahead but my kids will play outside without me… EVERY day!

Becca

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Sick

February 10, 2009 By 7 Comments
Do you see any hives?
Do you see any hives?

I think that my favorite kids poems ever is “Sick” by Shell Silverstein.  I used to love this poem more then anything and I cannot tell you the number of times I have read it in my life.  I sit here thinking about this poem for a few reasons:

  1. Abigail keeps faking being sick.  This is what the poem is all about.  It is about a girl who has everything wrong with her until she finds out that it is Saturday.  She is then by some miracle better.  This is now Abigail starring in the role of the faking little girl.  She has gotten one over on me a few times in the past few weeks but now I am on to her.  I do not know why she is avoiding going to school.  It used to be something that she loved!  All I know is that no more children will be staying home with mommy unless they have a fever and cannot move off of the couch.  I do not want to entertain all day.  I want to see Abigail and Emma off to school and play with the baby.  I want to work when the baby is sleeping not entertain an imitation sick child. 
  2. The baby is sick:  Yes it is true I think that we have an ear infection on our hands.  This would be the first for baby Analiese which is impressive being that we are moving closer to two with each passing day.  I hate when babies are sick.  They cannot tell you what hurts.  They cannot tell you when their fever is creeping back up.  It makes it all so hard to have to watch them hurt and be sad.  It just breaks my heart how Analiese still wants to be a trooper and has not learned better yet.  She still wants to play even though I know that it hurts for her to hold her head up.  She still wants to come to dinner even though she does not want to eat.  I just find it all so heartbreaking.
  3. I want it to be Saturday:  Yes I know that the week just started but in the poem it is all better because it is Saturday.  I sit here wishing for one of these magical Saturdays!

** oh and to top it off I just picked Emma up from school.  She had one hive and this was apparently a reason to come home urggg**

I hope that you are having a better time this February with your sick little ones!  I am just looking for Saturday!

Becca

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