Chore Chart

Chore Chart
Image by smithsoccasional via Flickr

Back to school feels like a time of renewal.  It is a time to try new things and new schedules.  This year I decided to try a new technique for chores.  Of course there is a story behind this new chore technique!

A friend of mine has been unemployed for a few years now.  She began making herself lists of things she wanted to accomplish each day.  These lists were placed on a clipboard so that she could carry it with her, make adjustments as needed and easily cross items off.  She placed important papers that needed addressing on the back of the clipboard as a reminder of what she needed to deal with.  She kept telling me how fun it was to carry a clipboard.  So, in search of making stay at home life more fun, I tried it.  It really was more fun! So I go to thinking… why wouldn’t this be fun for the kids?  And daddy could try it too…  So, I ventured out to buy clipboards.  I designed a chore list for each of the girls.  I even went as far as adding a morning checklist and a bedtime checklist.  The deal is that when you wake up you get your clipboard.  When you complete all the tasks you hang it back up.   They are expected to do the same thing after school.  Once their chores are completed they have free time to go outside and play, watch TV, play their DSi or play a game.  at 7:30 they are to start on their bedtime list.  If they complete that by 8pm they have 30 minutes to watch tv or read in their room.

So far the kids are loving it!  They wake up each morning and grab their clipboard.  When they come home from school they know right where their clipboard is with their chores on it.  Bedtime is going super smooth as well.  There are many benefits to children doing chores.

  • Feeling of accomplishment and pride:  When children accomplish a chore successfully they feel a sence of pride in what they have done.  This is wonderful for your child and will lead to improvements in self esteem and pride.
  • Time management:  Many adults have trouble with this concept.  Management of time is important for your child’s success not only now, but also in the future. Chores help children learn how to effectively manage their time.
  • Independence:  You child can accomplish cores with no parental guidance.  This gives them a sense of independence and should mean that you are nagging your child less.
  • Self-Discipline:  Children learn self-discipline best when there are firm ground rules with attainable goals being set.

I was able to establish chore charts for all of the kids.  Each one has chores that are age appropriate and able to be completed within about 45 minutes total.  This means that there is still plenty of time for fun and games.

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Big Love On HBO

Big Love promotional photo featuring (from lef...
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I am so excited!  In just six short days my all time favorite show will be returning to HBO.  Yes it is that time again!  Big Love will premiere season four Sunday night.  This show is twisted but I just cannot help but to love it.  I often sit and wonder what it would be like to have more then one of me running around.  There are benefits to plural marriage!!

  • You do not have to be the only one washing the dishes, cleaning, doing laundry and cleaning toilets.
  • Your children could wine to someone else.  You know Bill does nothing with the kids but to have three mothers is the best.
  • You do not have to be the one sleeping with your husband every night.  Come on ladies; I know that I am not alone when I say that I wish I had the entire bed to myself every now and then!
  • There are two other people around to be friends with.  You never have to even leave home.
  • Everyone has a job and it is clear.  Not like now where all of the jobs are all mine.  They share the responsibility.
  • The kids all have one another to play with.  Yes this is true with my kids but I think to have like 8 kids and a huge shared yard would rock!
  • My husbands sex drive may equal mine.  No man can keep up with three women every night of the week, can they?

So as silly as it sounds I would love to have a second wife.  I of course have to be the first wife.  You know the one who controls it all.  The head wife in charge!  Just imagine a world with three of you…  The possibilities are endless.

*Please understand that I know there are negatives to plural marriage as well.

Becca

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Is My Baby Blind?? Part III

So there I was at home that afternoon.  Abigail and Emma were still in school.  This meant that I could look online and learn all that I could about blindness in infants.  I know that babies are not able to see well the first few days of life.  I read and read all afternoon.  I did not see anything good.  I saw ways to help your blind child, I saw ways to tell if your child is blind and a million other things.  I kept doing the experiments suggested in hope that she would see something and I could end all of this.

So I shined a light in her eyes, I pointed her to the window to see if she would look out it.  I did everything that every web site had said to do and still nothing.  I cried for about 5 minutes and then picked myself up!  I said, “OK so she is blind.  There are worse things.  She is healthy other then that!  You can do this.”   And there it was.  Just like with the Mastocytosis (which can become cancerous), just like the cerebral palsy I could do this.  It was all going to be alright.  I said it again and again and again until I believed it.  I started to read about what to do with children who are blind.  I read all about ways to stimulate blind babies.  If I could not change it then by God I would educate myself about it. analiese-coming-home-from-h2

As I called my husband and told him he had the same response that his mother had.  I told him all the things I had been looking at and was, by this point, even cracking jokes.  I told him that we could get another dog now because Analiese would need a seeing eye dog.  He even started cracking jokes about it which are worse then my dog one so I will leave it out.  We were ready for whatever was to come.  I guess it is the kind of thing we had been faced with before.  We learned early on to accept it, deal with it and move on!  Now I was in the moving on stages by the afternoon.  That is until my in laws all got together and sent a huge margarita glass filled with flowers.  I cannot tell you what the card said but there I was crying again.  Partly because it was all too much and partly because it is always nice to know that you are loved!  Love was what I needed right now and they knew it.  That is why they are so great!

All day I helped Analiese and tried to get her to track things.  My father was convinced she was following a rattle.  I had explained to him that she was following the noise and after about 30 minutes of trying other things he gave me a great big bear hug.  This is what my daddy is best at.  It was his way of saying it is not fair.  You have too much.  It was his way of loving me.  It was his way of saying it would all be OK.  Just like daddy always does!

Becca

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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Is My Baby Blind? Part II

From here I could tell that the Dr. was worried too.  He was trying not to let me know.  As he set down the flashlight that he had been shining into Analiese’s eyes he picked up a great big bright toy!  I thought that she would for sure watch this.  He moved it slowly back and forth in front of her.  She just stared into space as if there was noting there.   The Dr. then went to his tie that he was wearing, which was also bright, and waved it back and forth slowly and yet again nothing.analiese-coming-home-from-h1

By this point I was standing there watching this thinking, “you have to be kidding me!”  I had told the Dr. about my concern, but Analiese  should have come into the office and looked at him and track things and show that I am a worry wart.  She was supposed to prove me wrong.  By this point I was FLIPPING out inside.  All of a sudden he stopped moving his tie and accepted defeat.  I was right!

At this moment he said he was sending her to a pediatric opthomolgist.  He had given me a name of one and he was even nice enough to schedule the appointment.  I know from my other children and all of their issues that this is not a good thing!  It is actually a really bad thing when your Dr. feels that he needs to sit down and call another Dr.  Now I was again FLIPPING out inside.

On the way home I called my mother-in-law.  She is like my best friend.  She is the one I always call first.  Tears were welling in my eyes and I told her how the appointment had gone.  She was silent!  This is never good.  She usuaully has so much to say.  She tells you that it is all fine and she tells you that it is just a precaution.  She helps you figure out how to fix it.  This itme though she was silent.

I felt like it was 10 minutes before she said anything.  I am sure it was more like 1 minute but to me it felt like an eternity.  Here I was looking for infinate wisdom and all I got was silence!  Then she spoke and she was alomst yelling, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!”  I said,  “well no I am not.”  This was me stalling while still waiting for her to reassure me!  Then she said, “I am speachless.  How much crap can be put on your plate?  I just cannot believe this!”

It was then that I cried.  She was right.  I already had a child with Mastocytosis, undiagnosed bipolar and another child with Cerebral Palsy.  When would God think that enough was enough?  Why me is all I kept saying.  I am a good person.  I have always been overly kind even to nasty people.  I went to church on an almost regular basis.  Why was God doing this to me?  All I had ever wanted out of life was to be a mother and have the “perfect” family.  This mess was anything from perfect!

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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Is My Baby Blind?? Part 1

analiese-coming-home-from-h

In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years.  There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week.  The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month.  The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!

I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby!  I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6.  They were so excited to have a new little sister.  I remember when they came to the hospital.  Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.

As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things.  She would not look at me.  In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing.  Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all.  In my head I kept saying, “she is fine.  You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).”  Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time!  She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.

Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it.  I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so.  She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.

As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious.  She looked through me.  Certainly not at me.  She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces.  So by the time she was three months old I was worried!  I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.

So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more.  I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me!  I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe.  Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking.  I blurted all of this out as quick as I could.  The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home.  Well that is not quite how it happened.  He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing!  Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face.  She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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Killer Flu!

DENPASAR, INDONESIA - NOVEMBER 7:  A scientist...
Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Earlier this week I had written about a friends daughter who died suddenly last Saturday.    It turned out that she had the flu which caused her to pass way before her time.  I am floored by this.  This is, thank God, the first year that all of my kids had a flu shot.  I am thanking my lucky stars now.  This strain of the flu is aggressive.  She had not felt well the evening before and died 24 hours later!

In wake of this I hear that the schools will be undergoing massive cleanings this weekend.  The department of health is also offering free flu vaccines tomorrow!  It makes me think though.  I cannot tell you how many times I let my kids be sick.  I am not one to rush to the Dr. the second they get a fever.  I let them work through for a day or two.  Runny noses are never a second though.   I assume that it is a cold and move on.  I know that there are a lot of other parents out there like me.  I know that I am not alone.

This also makes me think about the flu.  Why is this strain of the flu so strong that it is killing people within 24 hours.  I heard about a week before this happen that there were two other girls who died on Long Island.  The day that this child died another girl on Staten Island died of the flu as well.  Why are the strains of the flu suddenly so strong?  Perhaps the flu is becoming stronger because we keep fighting it with vaccines?  Is it possible that in the long run we are doing more harm then good?

I am not a scientist so who knows.   All I know is that I am now a little worried about my kids.  Will the same fate fall upon my babies?  How do we know how much longer we will have with anyone we love?  I am again thinking about how I want to make each day count.  I want them to know that they were loved and have a happy home!

Becca

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    National Disability Awareness Month

    Disabled persons
    Image via Wikipedia

    It has come to my attention that March is Disability Awareness Month.  Alright so I am 11 days late!  I just could not let it go without discussing it with all of you.  You see this is something that personally touches my family on a daily basis.  Two out of my three children have disabilities so you can see why I may find it so important.  It is something that I cannot to ignore.

    Emma has mild, thank God, Cerebral Palsy.  As an infant she was not able to move the left side of her body.  Drinking bottles and eating were things that she had to be taught how to do.  She has had motor planning issues associated with this muscle weakness and has a very weak upper body.  This weakness impacts her speech, ability to run and play easily like other kids do and her ability to learn at the same rate as the other children.

    As an infant we made sure that Emma received Early Intervention.  I feel that it is why she is doing as good as she is.  From the time she was 5 months old until the time she was three we would have 7-9 visits from therapists a week.  She would also go to a parent tot gymnastics program and counseling was available to anyone in the family.  New York really holds their Early Intervention program to high standards and I think that this is the only reason that Emma has done so well.

    Today Emma still has some issues.  They are certainly noticable to me but if I did not tell you; you would never know.  Emma was mainstreamed in kindergarten this year.  She is behind the rest of the kids but still showing progress.  She can walk and talk although she gets tired much quicker then other kids.  She has broken out of her shell this year and socializes with the other kids.  I am so proud of how far we have come in 5 years.  5 years ago she could not move half of her body and now she is running with the other kids.  Even if it is a few paces behind she is still doing it!

    Abigail has an emotional disability which is called bipolar.  This has been a tough one.  She rages, goes from extreme to extreme and is always angry.  In her fits she has told her sisters that she is going to kill them.  She throws all of the pictures off of her walls and her books off of their shelves.  She even has tried on more then one occasion to jump out of second story windows and has tried to jump out of a moving car.  She does not think through consequences and is VERY difficult.

    The thing about Abigail that just breaks my heart is that she does not want to act like this.   She has cried many times after telling me that she wants to die.  She has told me that she tries so hard to keep it together.  She has told me that she just hates herself and that she is like this.  It breaks my heart.

    We just started Abigail on medication.  I have read that with bipolar it is about the only way to assure that they will feel more balanced, more like you and I feel.  This is a disease that children suffer with.  I feel that medication is the same as giving a child medication for diabetes or a heart condition.  How could you not treat it.  The statistics of the suicide rate is enough to make me want my daughter on medication.  Medication also reduces the likelihood of future drug abuse.

    So there you have it.   The most intimate parts of my life!  These kids are everything to me.  When I was discussing this with them they had a few things to add.

    1. Please do not look at me funny.  I am a kids with feelings just like anyone else they get hurt.  With Abigail I think that they are hurt even more then your average kids.
    2. Do not be afraid to play with kids who are different.  Once you are with them you will see that they are not as different as you thought!
    3. Be kind and respectful.  Even though these kids are not what you would call “normal” they are kids!  They respond best to kindness just as any other kid would.

    I think that we should all take a little time this month to think about these children and adults.  They are still people.  Their feelings are hurt with every weird eye people look at them with.  They are hurt a little deeper each time!  Please educate yourself and your children about disabilities and why it is so important to treat everyone, including the people who are different, with kindness and respect.

    Becca

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    Death of a Child

    This weekend something quite heart wrenching happened to someone I know.  It has shaken me to the core of my sole.  I am a Girl Scout Leader and the worst thing has happened to another leader’s daughter.  She died two nights ago.  My thoughts and prayers are with them.  I just cannot imagine if it were me.  For the past 48 hours that is all I have done.  I cannot stop imagining.

    I have not spoken to the mother herself but from what I understand their daughter was feeling a little sick on Friday.  By Saturday morning she had a fever and her mother took her to the doctor.  The doctor assured her that her daughter was fine and sent them home.  The rest of the day her daughter rested.  Then, as the mother was going to bed, the mother went to check in on her daughter. She found her daughter in distress.  I guess at this point she called 911 but it is too late.

    I am crying while typing.  This woman has a heart of gold.  She is about the nicest woman you ever wat to meet.  Her daughter was only 12 years old.  Her life ended much too quickly.  As of now they do not know what caused her death.  Her parents sat around waiting to hear from the medical examiner all day yesterday.

    I guess my point in posting this is to remind all of us of a few things:

    1. Even though your kids annoy you smile and let it go.  They are just kids.
    2. Kiss them and hold them every chance you get.  You never know when it will be the last time.
    3. Always say I love you before they leave.

    I know this all seems so obvious and simple but think about it.  I am sure that there are days that you are in a rush and forget to kiss them.  I am sure that there are days when you just wish they would leave you alone!  I am sure that there are days when I love you does not leave your mouth.  I just know I would not want that day to be my daughters last!

    Becca

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    You Want Me to Put that Where?

    Image of a container of Vicks VapoRub

    Image via Wikipedia

    OK I know… it is not what you are thinking.  It is so much cleaner and better then what you are thinking.  This is a G rated site you know.

    About a month ago my mother in law had advised me to put Vicks Vapor rub on little Analiese’s feet.  I had though that she was nuts!  Why would I put Vick’s on my babies feet?  So the next day my mother in law emails me an article on how putting vicks on a babies feet is actually better for the baby then putting it on their chest.  I laughed and forwarded it all of my friends.  I was thinking that they would also find the whole thing quite funny!

    A few days later a saw one of the friends that I had emailed the article to in the Mall.  She was so happy and excited.  She had told me that her daughter had been sick with a cough for about a week.  She had said that the poor baby had not even been able to sleep laying down so my friend had been holding he all night long!   Then she went on to tell me something quite shocking.  She tried the Vick’s on the feet solution out of sheer desperation and IT WORKED!  She was thanking me profusely.  I had to come clean and let her know that it was my mother in law who had figured it all out!

    I have not had a sick child since my mother in law mentioned the Vicks on the feet trick.  I am anxious to try it on someone… Darn that flu shot! I would love to hear who out there has tried it.

    Becca

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