Big Love On HBO

I am so excited!  In just six short days my all time favorite show will be returning to HBO.  Yes it is that time again!  Big Love will premiere season four Sunday night.  This show is twisted but I just cannot help but to love it.  I often sit and wonder what it would be like to have more then one of me running around.  There are benefits to plural marriage!!

• You do not have to be the only one washing the dishes, cleaning, doing laundry and cleaning toilets.
• Your children could wine to someone else.  You know Bill does nothing with the kids but to have three mothers is the best.
• You do not have to be the one sleeping with your husband every night.  Come on ladies; I know that I am not alone when I say that I wish I had the entire bed to myself every now and then!
• There are two other people around to be friends with.  You never have to even leave home.
• Everyone has a job and it is clear.  Not like now where all of the jobs are all mine.  They share the responsibility.
• The kids all have one another to play with.  Yes this is true with my kids but I think to have like 8 kids and a huge shared yard would rock!
• My husbands sex drive may equal mine.  No man can keep up with three women every night of the week, can they?

So as silly as it sounds I would love to have a second wife.  I of course have to be the first wife.  You know the one who controls it all.  The head wife in charge!  Just imagine a world with three of you…  The possibilities are endless.

*Please understand that I know there are negatives to plural marriage as well.

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• Big stuff coming on Big Love Season 4 (tvsquad.com)
• Big Love gives bigger role to Bella Thorne (canada.com)

Is My Baby Blind?? Part III

So there I was at home that afternoon.  Abigail and Emma were still in school.  This meant that I could look online and learn all that I could about blindness in infants.  I know that babies are not able to see well the first few days of life.  I read and read all afternoon.  I did not see anything good.  I saw ways to help your blind child, I saw ways to tell if your child is blind and a million other things.  I kept doing the experiments suggested in hope that she would see something and I could end all of this.

So I shined a light in her eyes, I pointed her to the window to see if she would look out it.  I did everything that every web site had said to do and still nothing.  I cried for about 5 minutes and then picked myself up!  I said, “OK so she is blind.  There are worse things.  She is healthy other then that!  You can do this.”   And there it was.  Just like with the Mastocytosis (which can become cancerous), just like the cerebral palsy I could do this.  It was all going to be alright.  I said it again and again and again until I believed it.  I started to read about what to do with children who are blind.  I read all about ways to stimulate blind babies.  If I could not change it then by God I would educate myself about it.

As I called my husband and told him he had the same response that his mother had.  I told him all the things I had been looking at and was, by this point, even cracking jokes.  I told him that we could get another dog now because Analiese would need a seeing eye dog.  He even started cracking jokes about it which are worse then my dog one so I will leave it out.  We were ready for whatever was to come.  I guess it is the kind of thing we had been faced with before.  We learned early on to accept it, deal with it and move on!  Now I was in the moving on stages by the afternoon.  That is until my in laws all got together and sent a huge margarita glass filled with flowers.  I cannot tell you what the card said but there I was crying again.  Partly because it was all too much and partly because it is always nice to know that you are loved!  Love was what I needed right now and they knew it.  That is why they are so great!

All day I helped Analiese and tried to get her to track things.  My father was convinced she was following a rattle.  I had explained to him that she was following the noise and after about 30 minutes of trying other things he gave me a great big bear hug.  This is what my daddy is best at.  It was his way of saying it is not fair.  You have too much.  It was his way of loving me.  It was his way of saying it would all be OK.  Just like daddy always does!

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• National Disability Awareness Month (askbecca.com)
• ‘My cerebral palsy is just another arbitrary feature like eye colour’ (telegraph.co.uk)
• What is Cerebral Palsy and How Could it Affect Your Oral Health (articlesbase.com)
• Outside Will Get You? (askbecca.com)
• Sick (askbecca.com)

Is My Baby Blind? Part II

From here I could tell that the Dr. was worried too.  He was trying not to let me know.  As he set down the flashlight that he had been shining into Analiese’s eyes he picked up a great big bright toy!  I thought that she would for sure watch this.  He moved it slowly back and forth in front of her.  She just stared into space as if there was noting there.   The Dr. then went to his tie that he was wearing, which was also bright, and waved it back and forth slowly and yet again nothing.

By this point I was standing there watching this thinking, “you have to be kidding me!”  I had told the Dr. about my concern, but Analiese  should have come into the office and looked at him and track things and show that I am a worry wart.  She was supposed to prove me wrong.  By this point I was FLIPPING out inside.  All of a sudden he stopped moving his tie and accepted defeat.  I was right!

At this moment he said he was sending her to a pediatric opthomolgist.  He had given me a name of one and he was even nice enough to schedule the appointment.  I know from my other children and all of their issues that this is not a good thing!  It is actually a really bad thing when your Dr. feels that he needs to sit down and call another Dr.  Now I was again FLIPPING out inside.

On the way home I called my mother-in-law.  She is like my best friend.  She is the one I always call first.  Tears were welling in my eyes and I told her how the appointment had gone.  She was silent!  This is never good.  She usuaully has so much to say.  She tells you that it is all fine and she tells you that it is just a precaution.  She helps you figure out how to fix it.  This itme though she was silent.

I felt like it was 10 minutes before she said anything.  I am sure it was more like 1 minute but to me it felt like an eternity.  Here I was looking for infinate wisdom and all I got was silence!  Then she spoke and she was alomst yelling, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!”  I said,  “well no I am not.”  This was me stalling while still waiting for her to reassure me!  Then she said, “I am speachless.  How much crap can be put on your plate?  I just cannot believe this!”

It was then that I cried.  She was right.  I already had a child with Mastocytosis, undiagnosed bipolar and another child with Cerebral Palsy.  When would God think that enough was enough?  Why me is all I kept saying.  I am a good person.  I have always been overly kind even to nasty people.  I went to church on an almost regular basis.  Why was God doing this to me?  All I had ever wanted out of life was to be a mother and have the “perfect” family.  This mess was anything from perfect!

Related articles by Zemanta

• National Disability Awareness Month (askbecca.com)
• There is still no cure for cerebral palsy (telegraph.co.uk)
• You Want Me to Put that Where? (askbecca.com)

Is My Baby Blind?? Part 1

In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years.  There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week.  The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month.  The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!

I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby!  I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6.  They were so excited to have a new little sister.  I remember when they came to the hospital.  Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.

As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things.  She would not look at me.  In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing.  Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all.  In my head I kept saying, “she is fine.  You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).”  Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time!  She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.

Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it.  I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so.  She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.

As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious.  She looked through me.  Certainly not at me.  She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces.  So by the time she was three months old I was worried!  I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.

So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more.  I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me!  I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe.  Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking.  I blurted all of this out as quick as I could.  The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home.  Well that is not quite how it happened.  He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing!  Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face.  She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.

Related articles by Zemanta

• National Disability Awareness Month (askbecca.com)
• Sick (askbecca.com)
• Disabled people deal with discrimination at every turn (guardian.co.uk)
• CP: Cerebral Palsy (disabilities.suite101.com)

Killer Flu!

Earlier this week I had written about a friends daughter who died suddenly last Saturday.    It turned out that she had the flu which caused her to pass way before her time.  I am floored by this.  This is, thank God, the first year that all of my kids had a flu shot.  I am thanking my lucky stars now.  This strain of the flu is aggressive.  She had not felt well the evening before and died 24 hours later!

In wake of this I hear that the schools will be undergoing massive cleanings this weekend.  The department of health is also offering free flu vaccines tomorrow!  It makes me think though.  I cannot tell you how many times I let my kids be sick.  I am not one to rush to the Dr. the second they get a fever.  I let them work through for a day or two.  Runny noses are never a second though.   I assume that it is a cold and move on.  I know that there are a lot of other parents out there like me.  I know that I am not alone.

This also makes me think about the flu.  Why is this strain of the flu so strong that it is killing people within 24 hours.  I heard about a week before this happen that there were two other girls who died on Long Island.  The day that this child died another girl on Staten Island died of the flu as well.  Why are the strains of the flu suddenly so strong?  Perhaps the flu is becoming stronger because we keep fighting it with vaccines?  Is it possible that in the long run we are doing more harm then good?

I am not a scientist so who knows.   All I know is that I am now a little worried about my kids.  Will the same fate fall upon my babies?  How do we know how much longer we will have with anyone we love?  I am again thinking about how I want to make each day count.  I want them to know that they were loved and have a happy home!

Becca

Related articles

Swine Flu Symptoms
U.S. chooses flu vaccine for 2009-2010 (cbc.ca)
Goodbye to Yearly Flu Shots? (abcnews.go.com)

National Disability Awareness Month

It has come to my attention that March is Disability Awareness Month.  Alright so I am 11 days late!  I just could not let it go without discussing it with all of you.  You see this is something that personally touches my family on a daily basis.  Two out of my three children have disabilities so you can see why I may find it so important.  It is something that I cannot to ignore.

Emma has mild, thank God, Cerebral Palsy.  As an infant she was not able to move the left side of her body.  Drinking bottles and eating were things that she had to be taught how to do.  She has had motor planning issues associated with this muscle weakness and has a very weak upper body.  This weakness impacts her speech, ability to run and play easily like other kids do and her ability to learn at the same rate as the other children.

As an infant we made sure that Emma received Early Intervention.  I feel that it is why she is doing as good as she is.  From the time she was 5 months old until the time she was three we would have 7-9 visits from therapists a week.  She would also go to a parent tot gymnastics program and counseling was available to anyone in the family.  New York really holds their Early Intervention program to high standards and I think that this is the only reason that Emma has done so well.

Today Emma still has some issues.  They are certainly noticable to me but if I did not tell you; you would never know.  Emma was mainstreamed in kindergarten this year.  She is behind the rest of the kids but still showing progress.  She can walk and talk although she gets tired much quicker then other kids.  She has broken out of her shell this year and socializes with the other kids.  I am so proud of how far we have come in 5 years.  5 years ago she could not move half of her body and now she is running with the other kids.  Even if it is a few paces behind she is still doing it!

Abigail has an emotional disability which is called bipolar.  This has been a tough one.  She rages, goes from extreme to extreme and is always angry.  In her fits she has told her sisters that she is going to kill them.  She throws all of the pictures off of her walls and her books off of their shelves.  She even has tried on more then one occasion to jump out of second story windows and has tried to jump out of a moving car.  She does not think through consequences and is VERY difficult.

The thing about Abigail that just breaks my heart is that she does not want to act like this.   She has cried many times after telling me that she wants to die.  She has told me that she tries so hard to keep it together.  She has told me that she just hates herself and that she is like this.  It breaks my heart.

We just started Abigail on medication.  I have read that with bipolar it is about the only way to assure that they will feel more balanced, more like you and I feel.  This is a disease that children suffer with.  I feel that medication is the same as giving a child medication for diabetes or a heart condition.  How could you not treat it.  The statistics of the suicide rate is enough to make me want my daughter on medication.  Medication also reduces the likelihood of future drug abuse.

So there you have it.   The most intimate parts of my life!  These kids are everything to me.  When I was discussing this with them they had a few things to add.

1. Please do not look at me funny.  I am a kids with feelings just like anyone else they get hurt.  With Abigail I think that they are hurt even more then your average kids.
2. Do not be afraid to play with kids who are different.  Once you are with them you will see that they are not as different as you thought!
3. Be kind and respectful.  Even though these kids are not what you would call “normal” they are kids!  They respond best to kindness just as any other kid would.

I think that we should all take a little time this month to think about these children and adults.  They are still people.  Their feelings are hurt with every weird eye people look at them with.  They are hurt a little deeper each time!  Please educate yourself and your children about disabilities and why it is so important to treat everyone, including the people who are different, with kindness and respect.

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• Sick (askbecca.com)
• Outside Will Get You? (askbecca.com)
• What Are School Really Teaching???? (askbecca.com)
• Disabled people deal with discrimination at every turn (guardian.co.uk)
• Profoundly disabled students forced to fight by staff. If you guessed Texas, you win (inquisitr.com)
• Who helps to get social security disability insurance? (blogavenues.blogspot.com)

Death of a Child

This weekend something quite heart wrenching happened to someone I know.  It has shaken me to the core of my sole.  I am a Girl Scout Leader and the worst thing has happened to another leader’s daughter.  She died two nights ago.  My thoughts and prayers are with them.  I just cannot imagine if it were me.  For the past 48 hours that is all I have done.  I cannot stop imagining.

I have not spoken to the mother herself but from what I understand their daughter was feeling a little sick on Friday.  By Saturday morning she had a fever and her mother took her to the doctor.  The doctor assured her that her daughter was fine and sent them home.  The rest of the day her daughter rested.  Then, as the mother was going to bed, the mother went to check in on her daughter. She found her daughter in distress.  I guess at this point she called 911 but it is too late.

I am crying while typing.  This woman has a heart of gold.  She is about the nicest woman you ever wat to meet.  Her daughter was only 12 years old.  Her life ended much too quickly.  As of now they do not know what caused her death.  Her parents sat around waiting to hear from the medical examiner all day yesterday.

I guess my point in posting this is to remind all of us of a few things:

1. Even though your kids annoy you smile and let it go.  They are just kids.
2. Kiss them and hold them every chance you get.  You never know when it will be the last time.
3. Always say I love you before they leave.

I know this all seems so obvious and simple but think about it.  I am sure that there are days that you are in a rush and forget to kiss them.  I am sure that there are days when you just wish they would leave you alone!  I am sure that there are days when I love you does not leave your mouth.  I just know I would not want that day to be my daughters last!

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• Doctor and Patient: On Young Doctors and Long Workdays (nytimes.com)
• Ivan’s death (bbc.co.uk)
• Mother receives kidneys from drowned toddler (telegraph.co.uk)

You Want Me to Put that Where?

OK I know… it is not what you are thinking.  It is so much cleaner and better then what you are thinking.  This is a G rated site you know.

About a month ago my mother in law had advised me to put Vicks Vapor rub on little Analiese’s feet.  I had though that she was nuts!  Why would I put Vick’s on my babies feet?  So the next day my mother in law emails me an article on how putting vicks on a babies feet is actually better for the baby then putting it on their chest.  I laughed and forwarded it all of my friends.  I was thinking that they would also find the whole thing quite funny!

A few days later a saw one of the friends that I had emailed the article to in the Mall.  She was so happy and excited.  She had told me that her daughter had been sick with a cough for about a week.  She had said that the poor baby had not even been able to sleep laying down so my friend had been holding he all night long!   Then she went on to tell me something quite shocking.  She tried the Vick’s on the feet solution out of sheer desperation and IT WORKED!  She was thanking me profusely.  I had to come clean and let her know that it was my mother in law who had figured it all out!

I have not had a sick child since my mother in law mentioned the Vicks on the feet trick.  I am anxious to try it on someone… Darn that flu shot! I would love to hear who out there has tried it.

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• Flu Survival Tools (petroville.com)
• Our First Brush With Illness (genbetween.com)

What Are Schools Really Teaching????

I had an odd conversation with Abigail the other day which made me wonder what are schools teaching my child.  Abigail, who is now 8, and I were driving in the car and she said the oddest thing to me.  This is how our conversation went…

A.  “Mommy, I hate that Daddy smokes”

Me.  “I know I do too but he only smokes once in a while and never around us.”

At this point I figured that the conversation would end but with Abigail the conversation never seems to end.

A.  “Well why do people smoke?”

Me.  “I think that people start because they think that they look cool and then it is hard to stop.”

A.  “Well Daddy must be stupid then.”

Me.  “No Abigail a lot of people used to smoke.  They did not know a long time ago that it was bad for you.  Even your grandma smoked right up until mommy was in college.  It was just something that was not thought of as a bad thing for your health like it is today.”

A.  “Oh wow mommy, did grandma do drugs the whole time you were growing up?”

OK this is where I am questioning what my kids are learning in school.  Since when is smoking considered being a drug addiction?  From this point I quickly tried to explain that people who are called drug addicts do drugs that are not legal.  Cigarettes and alcohol are legal but you have to be an adult to buy them.  So by the end of this conversation I was wondering if she raised her hand in the middle of class and told them all that her dad is a drug addict?  You never know with that one.  I am walking on eggshells just waiting for the school to call about my drug addict husband.

Perhaps this makes it clear that 3rd graders are confusing the messages that they are getting.  Perhaps their young minds are just not ready to tell a difference between a smoker, a drug addict and an alcoholic.  My concern comes in that no one is clearing all of this up for them!  They walk around thinking that their father is a druggie because he smokes a cigarette every few days.  Oh and to top it off Emma, my 5 year old, hates Obama because he smokes.  She has learned in school that this means we should not respect our president.  Oh the things that they are learning are astonishing to me.  I would settle for some good old reading skills.  I think that this is an important lesson in assuring that your children get the messages being pushed on them.  You do not want to be a druggie in their eyes like my husband apparently is!

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• A love that dare not puff its name (will-self.com)
• Sick (askbecca.com)
• Outside Will Get You? (askbecca.com)
• Kids Smoking Pipes Without Crack! [Trendwatch] (gawker.com)

Outside Will Get You?

As a child I can remember going out to play.  Yes it is true!  We would play in our yard or a friends yard.  We would even take a walk around the neighborhood.  We would do anything to get out of the house.  You know we would be kids!

What is going on with the world today that a child can no longer be a child?  Why is it that we do not feel that our children need outside time?  Why have we let the media taint how children grow up?  These are all things that I have become passionate about.  There really is no more risk for bad things then there used to be.  There are just as many bad people out there but lets get real.

1. The bad guys do not out number the good guys.  I know that the news that we watch would make us think that the bad guys are all just waiting for us to open our doors and let our kids out.  The truth is that they are not!  I do not want you to misunderstand there are bad guys.  There are men and women who take and hurt children.  How many are there really though and why do you think that they want your child?  Statistics do show though that these men and women who abduct children often know the children!  So where is the danger?
2. The kids are safer inside.  Oh here is an arguement!  You are right it is much better to have your kids cooped up in the house playing video games or watching TV then it is to open the door and tell them to go play.  I do not know the exact numbers here but I am pretty sure that the number of kids who die a little everyday from childhood obesity are much worse off then the kids who are out climbing trees.
3. Kids will go with anyone.  I am sorry but I know that Abigail and Emma are smart.  I know that they would not talk to anyone or approach a car.   This is because I have taught them if there is stranger danger to say no then go and tell someone you trust.  They have street smarts and are a pair.  They use the buddy system daily.  They know what to do and I am never all that far away.  Not to mention I peek outside from time to time to see where they are, what they are doing and why!

Now I know that some of you will come back and have a lot to say and for you, all I can say is remember.  That is right, take a moment and remember when you were a kid.  You played outside until you heard your mom calling you for dinner.   I think that it would be fair to say that we are keeping our kids back by not affording them the same opportunity.  So if you need to call DSS go ahead but my kids will play outside without me… EVERY day!

Becca

Related articles by Zemanta

• Sick (askbecca.com)
• Take Control Over Your Obese Kids – Their Thyroid May Be At Risk! (dirjournal.com)
• Parents – Fear Predators, Not Safety (blogs.webmd.com)

Next Page »