Last night as I was flipping through the channels I stopped at a documentary titled, “Diagnosis: Bipolar” on HBO.  Being that I have a child who suffers from Bipolar disorder I watched about the last 10-15 minutes of it.  I certainly want to catch it in its entirety.  It was like seeing portions of what we go through everyday on the television.

Bipolar is a brain disorder that severe mood changes occur.  According to www.BPkids.com there are “bouts of extreme and impairing changes in mood, energy, thinking, and behavior.”  Many people are under the misconception that this is a strictly behavioral issue that is easily fixed by behavioral modification.  While behavior modifications are certainly important it is a brain disorder.  I  know that my daughter hits a point where she looses it and is no longer in control.  I do not know how to explain it.  You can see in her eyes when she is gone.  After an episode she immediately becomes very depressed.  She talks about not wanting to live and tells me she hates herself because of how she just acted.  She is unable to explain what is going on in her head at the time.  She clearly feels bad.

As my daughter continues to age it is becoming more difficult.  The fact that she is prepubescent has made her treatment difficult not only for her but also for her Doctor.  She is suffering socially because other children her age do not know what to make of her.  The trouble is that my daughter has a HUGE heart.  She will do anything to help others.  She can be extremely compassionate.  She is wonderfully excited about so many things and very inquisitive.

I certainly want to catch this documentary again.  I am sure that they picked some of the most severe cases to show.  That is what they always do.  I just want to see how these kids have been helped over the course of a year.  For now I will continue to muddle through.  Some days are wonderful and others not so much.  Either way she is my baby girl and all I can do is try and help her in anyway I can!

Becca

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