Happy Mother’s Day

I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you a very happy Mother’s Day. 

Becoming Mother:

As I came to there she was, this baby who had come to me.  Her entrance into the world was not an easy one.  I remember looking at her and the emotions that ran through me were too great to bear.  I sat and started.  I was in awe that this tiny thing had come from me.  She was beautiful.  She was mine!

I almost died having her.  I could not walk for about 6 months after but none of that matters.   My first baby opened a place in my heart that I had never known existed.  It went beyond unconditional love.  It is a feeling that you cannot describe.  It is the magical moment of becoming a mother. I will never forget that first moment that I met my princess.  I think about it each time I am upset with her, proud of her and even when I just look at her.

That same feeling of magic certainly entered into my heart the second time I became a mother.  This time my heart felt even more magic when I introduced Abigail to her sister.  It was as if God was in the room and blessing us with this new baby.  She was tiny just as Abby was and all of a sudden my first baby did not seem so small any more.  She was growing right before my eyes!

By the time we had our third I had thought that there was no way that the magic would still be there.  How much magic can one family have?  It was there.  The girls felt the magic the day that Analiese was born but not that mother magic.

I think that when you become a mother whether for the first time or the tenth time it is always magical.  It is something that leaves you in awe and warms even the coldest hearts.  Wether the baby is planned or not you feel that blessing from the first time you see that little baby that your love with your husband or partner have created.  That love lives on and on and never dies.

I would like to wish you all a happy Mother’s Day.  Take a moment today to remember when the magic entered into your heart.

Becca

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Easter Pictures: Spring Break Survival

OK so as I mentioned I am having a hard time with this entire Spring Break thing!  So today my mother and I dressed all of the kids in their Easter outfits and threw them into the car and were off to Sears.  Now I know what you are thinking… why did you head to Sears.  We were off to Sears for Easter pictures.  We have not had pictures in YEARS.  The last time was when the baby was a month old.  For those of you who do not know she will be 2 in a month!  So needless to say it has been a while.

We have never been to Sears so I was a little bit aprehansive.  It was great though.  They had a kid friendly waiting area which I did not have to wait in because they were ready for us when we got there.  The girls did great although it is difficult to make them all smile at once.  Abigail kept trying to make the baby smile and Emma had the fakest smile.  Even with all of these obsticales we were able to come out of the seccion with a few really nice shots.

So day two of Spring Break has been a success.  We did the pictures, went to lunch, had a play date and now we are getting ready for bed.   I am so happy that it is all working out.  I would say that going and having pictures done is a great way to survive Spring Break!  You should give it a try!  I found that it really occupied a lot of time, the kids had fun and we were out of the house.  We will not discuss how much Grandma spent though!  We will keep that part to ourselves!  Either way day two survived.  Nine days to go!

Becca

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Spring Break Survival

Oh my… I woke up this morning and remembered something.  IT IS SPRING BREAK.  Now, the words that are to follow are meant with the most love and affection.   I hate Spring Break.  It is not like Winter Break where we all get involved in Christmas.  This Spring Break thing stinks unless you are going away which we of course are not this year!  I remember back in high school and college when I went away with friends.  We had a blast.  One year was Ocean City another year was Disney.  Now I am home with restless kids, a house to unpack and no plan!  So what is a stay at home mom to do with three kids for eleven days?  I am compiling a survival guide in order to make it though.  I need you help though.  Here are a few questions to get started with:

1. What is there to do that is free?
2. What can I do with no car?
3. Is there any activity that you can think of that a 1 year old, a 5 year old, and an 8 year old?  I am drawing a blank!
4. Is there a magic potion to give children that makes them not whine?
5. How much is it a mother can drink without it being a problem?
6. How can I avoid hearing, “I am bored there is nothing to do.”
7. What fun things can you think of to make the kids tired enough to still go to bed on time?  Oh and I have to be able to do it with my not healed correctly broken foot!

I will spend the day developing a survival guide.  I hope that it works!  Today, I am just going to wing it.  So far we have had 5 fights, Abigail has bitten Emma, Emma has scratched Abigail and the baby is a whining mess!  HELP!

Becca

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The Stomach Bug Returns

As I was saying last week I hate stomach bugs.  I had thought that I had escaped its bite but I spoke too soon. Abigail spent all night Tuesday sick, Emma and I woke up sick and Rob is the only one not infected.  So I will not tell you about this horrible experience.  Yeah right you know that I will!

• Abigail did not get sick in 5 places before making it into the bedroom.
• I was not the one who did the laundry that she created.
• I did not sit there and help her while she was throwing up.
• Emma did not wake up the next morning covered in stomach flu remnants.
• I did not throw up all day that morning.
• I did not call my sister in law to take the baby because I could not take care of her.
• I did not sleep all day.
• I did not ignore my older kids all day who were also sick
• I did not wish I would rather be dead!

All in all I hope that this stomach Flu or bug as I like to call it has worked its way through my family.  I hope that it never comes back.  I am not sure when you spend a week cleaning it all up that the bug will not bite you.  I took the bleach idea and washed my hands obsessively and yet the bug still bit me.  I am amazed by its sneaky ability!  I cannot wait for warmer weather when the mosquitoes are the only bugs biting!

Becca

Update:  Rob was bitten last night!  Now we have all had it… Hopefuilly it will GO AWAY!!

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Is My Baby Blind??? Part V

So the appointment was made for a week later to go and see the neuro-opthomologist.  My mother in law was taking me this time.  Again my mind was much too blurred to actually drive in a lot of traffic.  I had a little shred of light lit in my heart and was feeling just a tiny bit better.  I was trying so hard to remain optimistic!  I had to for my sake.  If I let all of these things get me down I would have quit a long time ago!

On a little side note I have to tell you that it is no joke going to a neuro-opthomologist.  They are VERY specialized.  When the other doctor’s office was making the appointment, they warned me to check that my insurance would cover it.  When I called my insurance company they told me there were only 2 doctor’s within 200 miles of my house in this specialty.   It was the doctor whom they had already made an appointment with or one in New York City.    I live within and hour of  “the city” so this is BIG!

So anyway, we are off to this appointment and arrive a little early which is what I like to do when I am stressed.  I think that every ten minutes this doctor was scheduled to see about 4 people.  He was running very behind as anyone would with this type of schedule.  I was so anxious sitting there in a cold and uninviting office.  There was no rug on the floors.  The chair was not comfortable.  No matter how nice you were to the staff they were down right nasty!  I felt like yelling at them.  I felt like saying, “don’t you know that I am here because my 4 month old baby cannot see?  Where is your compassion?”  I did not yell though.  It is not what I do.  I seethe inside instead!

After about an hour and a half we were called in.  At this point I had convinced myself that the baby was seeing a little more now.  I felt silly being there.  Trust me there was still something going on.  I was holding onto my mom dreams again.  I know we all have them!  We have to to make it through most days!

After he examined her he had said that Analiese had a visual maturation delay.  I looked at him like he had 6 heads.  I had no idea what this meant.  I was lost!  I guess he could tell because he went on to describe it to me.  The mylon sheathing on her optic nerve had not developed fully.  Over the next few months it should continue to develop.  Right there I was thinking, “is he saying what I think he is?  Will she be able to see?”  I was jumping out of my skin trying so hard to listen and calm my thoughts.  He then went on to tell me that by six months her vision should come in.  He said we did not need to go back unless it doesn’t happen.

After this rather quick diagnosis my mother in law started asking questions.  The most profound one was how common is this.  His words are words that I will never forget.  He told her, “We see three or four of these a year so it is pretty common!”  Was he kidding?  He is the only doctor in this specialty in the entire 200 mile radius and this is common?  His idea of common were jaded!

In the end Analiese’s vision came in slowly.  Now at almost two she can see wonderfully!  I thank God each and every day for this!  I am not sure that I could have handled another disability in my life at the time.   Especially not one that would have been so life changing for all of us!

Becca

Is My Baby Blind?? Part 1

In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years.  There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week.  The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month.  The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!

I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby!  I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6.  They were so excited to have a new little sister.  I remember when they came to the hospital.  Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.

As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things.  She would not look at me.  In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing.  Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all.  In my head I kept saying, “she is fine.  You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).”  Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time!  She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.

Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it.  I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so.  She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.

As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious.  She looked through me.  Certainly not at me.  She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces.  So by the time she was three months old I was worried!  I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.

So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more.  I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me!  I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe.  Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking.  I blurted all of this out as quick as I could.  The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home.  Well that is not quite how it happened.  He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing!  Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face.  She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.

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My Emma is Sick!!

So after all of the flu hype around here recently, Emma is sick.  I just cannot believe it.  She developed a fever last night.  I am just so worried about it!  I know in my head that I am being silly but really I am worried.  I wanted to sit in bed with her all night and make sure that she was OK.  I wanted to tell her I loved her 1000000000 times just in case something terrible happened.

Emma has had a flu shot and I am sure that it is something else like an ear infection.  All I know is when her temperature read 102.4 I was worried.  I was scared.  I prayed.  Yes I know that it seems silly but I guess that I am still shaken a little by the entire thing!  I just want my baby to be alright.  When ever Emma gets sick she does it right.  She gets a high fever and cannot function.  I think that in part this is due to the cerbral palsy.  Her muscles just do not seem to be able to do anything.

I still pray that my baby Emma will be alright with this whole thing.  I cannot bring her to the doctor because it is Sunday.  Poor Emma is missing her first Saint Patrick’s Day parade today.  She was suposed to march in honor of the young girl who died.  Some Girl Scouts have chosen to march in memory of her but I guess we will miss it and stay home sick!

Becca

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