In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years. There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week. The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month. The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!
I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby! I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6. They were so excited to have a new little sister. I remember when they came to the hospital. Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.
As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things. She would not look at me. In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing. Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all. In my head I kept saying, “she is fine. You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).” Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time! She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.
Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it. I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so. She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.
As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious. She looked through me. Certainly not at me. She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces. So by the time she was three months old I was worried! I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.
So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more. I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me! I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe. Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking. I blurted all of this out as quick as I could. The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home. Well that is not quite how it happened. He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing! Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face. She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.
Links to the Full Series
Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V
Related articles by Zemanta
- National Disability Awareness Month (askbecca.com)
- Sick (askbecca.com)
- Disabled people deal with discrimination at every turn (guardian.co.uk)
- CP: Cerebral Palsy (disabilities.suite101.com)
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You better get Part II up ASAP… I *need* this to end well for you, and I’m on the edge of my seat. I’m so sorry that you had to go through the worry and fear, and hope that whatever happens in the end that the finality of *knowing* so that you can actively deal with the situation brings peace.
That a heck of a lead in – now I want to know how it all turned out.
My “baby” will be 2 in April so I understand. How do they grow so quickly?
KathyB hang in there. All week parts 1-5 will be posted. I wrote the entire thing and realized that it was just way too long for one post. Check back tomorrow for part 2!
Becca
K read all week and you will know by the end. It was like 3000 words so I had to break it up. I do not know how they grow up so quickly. My oldest is 8 and getting boobs. I am just so not ready. I prefer babies! lol
Becca
Please visit me at http://www.askbecca.com
Oh Becca… its heartbreaking!
Angel it certainly is. Thanks for stopping by!
Becca
Wow.
Kathy B took the words right out of my mouth dangit! I really hope this ends well, come on! get the next bit up soon before I chew my way through the screen so you have to tell me in person!
Oh my goodness, I hope she and your family are doing okay…I’ll be sure to check back for more updates.
Thanks for visiting my blog!I hope this story ends well for you guys, I will continue to read tommorrow!
Seph check in the morning and you will see! Each morning until Friday! I love a good cliff hanger!
Becca
Wrenbren thanks for stopping by! I hope to see you tomorrow for part 2!
Becca
tracking with baited breath…
hi i am going through what you have gone through at the moment still waiting on mri scan my little girl is 8 months old it is really breaking my heart i feel its my fault i was reading your story and cant seem to find the rest of it i was just wandering how to get the rest of your story as i am really interested in the outcome of it thx xx
I am going through the exact thing… I am completely broken
I know what it feels like to be broken. You spend 9 months doing everything for your baby. Something like this can be tragic and so depressing. Just remember you are the only advocate you children have. Your baby needs you to pick up all of those broken pieces, glue them back together and move forward. Good luck… If there is anything you need please let me know.
Becca