National Disability Awareness Month

Disabled persons
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It has come to my attention that March is Disability Awareness Month.  Alright so I am 11 days late!  I just could not let it go without discussing it with all of you.  You see this is something that personally touches my family on a daily basis.  Two out of my three children have disabilities so you can see why I may find it so important.  It is something that I cannot to ignore.

Emma has mild, thank God, Cerebral Palsy.  As an infant she was not able to move the left side of her body.  Drinking bottles and eating were things that she had to be taught how to do.  She has had motor planning issues associated with this muscle weakness and has a very weak upper body.  This weakness impacts her speech, ability to run and play easily like other kids do and her ability to learn at the same rate as the other children.

As an infant we made sure that Emma received Early Intervention.  I feel that it is why she is doing as good as she is.  From the time she was 5 months old until the time she was three we would have 7-9 visits from therapists a week.  She would also go to a parent tot gymnastics program and counseling was available to anyone in the family.  New York really holds their Early Intervention program to high standards and I think that this is the only reason that Emma has done so well.

Today Emma still has some issues.  They are certainly noticable to me but if I did not tell you; you would never know.  Emma was mainstreamed in kindergarten this year.  She is behind the rest of the kids but still showing progress.  She can walk and talk although she gets tired much quicker then other kids.  She has broken out of her shell this year and socializes with the other kids.  I am so proud of how far we have come in 5 years.  5 years ago she could not move half of her body and now she is running with the other kids.  Even if it is a few paces behind she is still doing it!

Abigail has an emotional disability which is called bipolar.  This has been a tough one.  She rages, goes from extreme to extreme and is always angry.  In her fits she has told her sisters that she is going to kill them.  She throws all of the pictures off of her walls and her books off of their shelves.  She even has tried on more then one occasion to jump out of second story windows and has tried to jump out of a moving car.  She does not think through consequences and is VERY difficult.

The thing about Abigail that just breaks my heart is that she does not want to act like this.   She has cried many times after telling me that she wants to die.  She has told me that she tries so hard to keep it together.  She has told me that she just hates herself and that she is like this.  It breaks my heart.

We just started Abigail on medication.  I have read that with bipolar it is about the only way to assure that they will feel more balanced, more like you and I feel.  This is a disease that children suffer with.  I feel that medication is the same as giving a child medication for diabetes or a heart condition.  How could you not treat it.  The statistics of the suicide rate is enough to make me want my daughter on medication.  Medication also reduces the likelihood of future drug abuse.

So there you have it.   The most intimate parts of my life!  These kids are everything to me.  When I was discussing this with them they had a few things to add.

  1. Please do not look at me funny.  I am a kids with feelings just like anyone else they get hurt.  With Abigail I think that they are hurt even more then your average kids.
  2. Do not be afraid to play with kids who are different.  Once you are with them you will see that they are not as different as you thought!
  3. Be kind and respectful.  Even though these kids are not what you would call “normal” they are kids!  They respond best to kindness just as any other kid would.

I think that we should all take a little time this month to think about these children and adults.  They are still people.  Their feelings are hurt with every weird eye people look at them with.  They are hurt a little deeper each time!  Please educate yourself and your children about disabilities and why it is so important to treat everyone, including the people who are different, with kindness and respect.

Becca

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Death of a Child

This weekend something quite heart wrenching happened to someone I know.  It has shaken me to the core of my sole.  I am a Girl Scout Leader and the worst thing has happened to another leader’s daughter.  She died two nights ago.  My thoughts and prayers are with them.  I just cannot imagine if it were me.  For the past 48 hours that is all I have done.  I cannot stop imagining.

I have not spoken to the mother herself but from what I understand their daughter was feeling a little sick on Friday.  By Saturday morning she had a fever and her mother took her to the doctor.  The doctor assured her that her daughter was fine and sent them home.  The rest of the day her daughter rested.  Then, as the mother was going to bed, the mother went to check in on her daughter. She found her daughter in distress.  I guess at this point she called 911 but it is too late.

I am crying while typing.  This woman has a heart of gold.  She is about the nicest woman you ever wat to meet.  Her daughter was only 12 years old.  Her life ended much too quickly.  As of now they do not know what caused her death.  Her parents sat around waiting to hear from the medical examiner all day yesterday.

I guess my point in posting this is to remind all of us of a few things:

  1. Even though your kids annoy you smile and let it go.  They are just kids.
  2. Kiss them and hold them every chance you get.  You never know when it will be the last time.
  3. Always say I love you before they leave.

I know this all seems so obvious and simple but think about it.  I am sure that there are days that you are in a rush and forget to kiss them.  I am sure that there are days when you just wish they would leave you alone!  I am sure that there are days when I love you does not leave your mouth.  I just know I would not want that day to be my daughters last!

Becca

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Spring Fever

Unknown rose colored rose family flower, Julia...
Image by Martin LaBar via Flickr

I took my temperature this morning and I have it… SPRING FEVER.  I have tried to keep it at bay.  I tried to fight it off but still I am sick with it.  I am yearning for spring.  Perhaps it is all of the spring dresses in the stores, perhaps it is the posts that others are making online.  All I know is that this morning I was totally sick with it!  I was thinking about why I love Spring so much and here are the top 5 reasons that I have Spring fever.

  1. Spring is a new begining. All winter I struggle not to get caught up too much in the winter blues.  Each year I fail!  I look at Spring as a new begining.  Baby birds start coming to life, flowers start popping out of the ground, and the buds are on the trees.  It is a fresh start for everything including me!
  2. Spring is warm. It is not hot!  It is warm.  You still need a sweater but the sun feel warm on your face as it smiles down on you. The windows can be open each day to let some fresh air in and the family can take a family hike or its first family letterboxing trip.
  3. Spring has flowers.  Not only does Spring offer flowers but it offers my favorite flowers.  Tulips are the flower I love the most.  They are just as delicate as a rose in features but last and last.  I just love them!
  4. Spring is a time to play. This means that the kids want to go out more and more.  They are feeling this fever too and it is all they can do not to be house ridden with this fever!  Spring means that they can run and have some fun without FREEZING!
  5. Spring brings the sun. As I mentioned the sun gets warmer in the spring but there is something else that the spring sun does!  The spring sun makes the days longer.  There is nothing more depressing then it being dark out by 4pm.  Now the sun shines longer and longer.  I have noticed this in the past week or so.  Perhaps that is why I have this fever.

I would love to hear your favorite things about Spring!  I know that we all have at least 5!  Be careful though, do not come too close.  I do not want you to catch the fever also!

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BFF Best Friends Forever???

broken heart series
Image by tony sak via Flickr

Growing up I had my BFF.  Not only was she my BFF but she was my only true friend.  I was not hated by all but she was the one.  She was the person that I visited after school, slept over all weekend and had a blast with.  We were not the most popular girls in school nor did we want to be.  We were fine with that.  We were ourselves.  We played Barbies until we were older then I am willing to admit.  We were two peas in a pod.  We went for walks around the neighborhood and stayed up all night watching movies such as Dirty Dancing!  She was my escape from everything else and the ONLY person who really knew me.  This was all fine until one day it changed.

One Summer afternoon my BFF told me that she was moving.  I was all of a sudden broken.  As I think back on it now I wonder why it was so untactful.  Either way it was the worst moment of my life and one I carry with me.  I felt abandoned and alone.  She was my friend, she was my BFF she was part of me.  I remember thinking that this could not be happening.  My mind raced with ways around it.  Could I go too… Perhaps she could stay… perhaps it was a dream and I would wake up soon… QUICK some one pinch me!

It was no dream.  She was off to start a new life and I was left here alone.  We had plans that in the summer I would come and visit.  I looked forward to it for the rest of the school year.  I could not wait.  I missed my other pea.  I needed to have my BFF back!  While waiting to go and see my BFF something happened.  I met a new friend.  A boyfriend!  I was so anxious to have someone to tell all of my secrets to.  Someone to love me no matter what.  Someone to share me with.  And so it was.  By the time I went out to visit my BFF I had a BFF (boy friend forever!).  This made things tough that summer.  My BFF who had moved had changed as had I.  We spent three very hard weeks together and it ended us forever!

Over the years I have been sad about this loss of a BFF.  Can someone really be a BFF or is it childhood dream.  I remember having the heart necklaces together.  You know the ones where one person had the “best” and the other had the “friends”.  At what point is all of that lost?  I think that we grow and even in that short amount of time in 9th grade that we were apart we each changed.  The change was not a bad thing.  It was just something that neither of us expected.  As teens I think that we were not able to share that knowledge that perhaps we were growing apart.  We abruptly stopped talking to one another and have lived our lives for the past 17 years without one another.  The weird part is that she is always there in my head.

Recently I reconnected with this BFF of the past.  I so want to be 14 again and try again but it is just too late for all of that.  I have to live in the now.  I am a mother of three now.  I have new BFF’s (I think I am too old to call them that), I have changed so much as a person over time.  In my head she is still the same person she used to be.  I know in my heart that this is silly to think but I want it to be true.

So I am beinging a new journey with my BFF of the past.  I am not sure how it will go.  Perhaps we will have nothing in common.  Perhaps she has not thought about me at all in the past 17 years.  Perhaps I am just trying to cling on to a past that I have not resolved.  Either way I am thrilled to have found her.  To be able to tell her how much I think about her.  To be able to show her the new me.  Perhaps the journey will be a great growing experience!

Becca

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