If so, you’ve come to the right place. As a semi-professional detective, I can assure that I’ve done all these things–and more.   Best of all, I’m about to give you the top 5 tips so you can too.  You’re welcome America.

Tip Number 1: Read three incredibly important, but very specific books.

Official detective classes are often expensive and incredibly long.  Furthermore, the books they assign are uber boring.

Instead of reading through a large stacks of criminology books on the library shelf, focus your efforts on these three books:

1. Sherlock Holmes:  Doesn’t matter which of his books you read.  Whether it’s The Hounds of Baskervilles or The Sign of the Four, Sherlock Holmes is the man, and he knows everything about being a detective.  Want to learn how to disarm a wrist watch bomb in the back of a horse and carriage?  Just read Holmes.  Why read the classics when you can learn from the best.
2. Dick Tracy comic: As I mentioned previously, Dick Tracy is awesome.  And you could learn a thing or two about dress from him.  His yellow coat is strikes fear in the heart of the average criminal.  Just ask any criminal you know?  If they say “Dick Tracy doesn’t scare me!” check their pulse.  More than likely their pulse will be racing a mile a minute: which means their lying.  Fact.
3. Batman Comic: He’s the dark knight.  End point.

Tip Number 2: Follow the cops

Ever watch a horror movie and think “Hey, that cop just missed the biggest clue”?  If so, great!  You are well on your way to becoming a real detective.

For those who tend to miss these type of clues, jump in your car and start following the cops around.  Only follow the ones with their sirens on—they’re usually the ones going to a crime scene.  Once you’re at the scene, hide in the bushes, preferably a few feet away from the caution tape.  And when the cops pack up and leave, that’s when you rummage around for clues.  Simple.

You’ll notice that cops tend to be sloppy, and so they miss a ton of evidence. Harriet the spy was good at this.

Tip Number 3: Load up on weapons

I’m talking about uzis, fully automatic rifles, grenades, and even bazookas.  And don’t forget about close combat.  You’ll need long knives, short knives, brass knuckles, and bats.  Criminals come in all shapes and sizes these days.   You need to be prepared.  Load up your vehicle with only the best stuff.  Prepare for war.

Tip Number 4: Get Detective Insurance.

Even detectives have to follow some kinds of rules. Believe it or not, undercover agents are required to have an insurance policy typically referred to as a surety bond.

Tip Number 5: Catch Bad Guys

You have knowledge.  You know where the bad guys are (from clues).  You have the weapons, and you have the insurance (trust me, you’ll need the insurance).

Now, all you need is attitude.  Get up and get ‘em!  Grunt and scratch and curse and then get ready to get some criminals.  You need to think like a bad guy to catch bad guys.  So use all you’ve learned; use all your training.  Be inspired by batman and Dick Tracy and Sherlock Holmes.  Win!

NOTE: The above was a collection of the most popular “Go Get ‘em” speeches that I know.  With that, I’ll leave the rest up to you.  I’ll be back next week on the top 5 tips for disarming a criminal, barehanded.

Good Luck,

The Real Detective

Bryan Kelly

Age 13

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Recently I discovered something quite wonderful.  Our local McDonalds has free WiFi for customers.  The best part about it is that there is also a McDonalds Play Place in our local McDonalds.  This means a whole world of opportunity for both me and my blog followers.

I know you are sitting asking yourself how you are benefiting from my local McDonalds having both a play place and free WiFi.  Well here is the whole story.  With WiFi at my finger tips and an indoor play ground I am able to write all of the blog pasts I have been putting off for so long.  Analiese is preoccupied and I can work.

As a mother I can tell you that there are additional benefits as well.  They seem to be numerous and well worth one bad meal a week!

1. Analiese can play with other kids.  Because Analiese is not in school it is important for her to socialize with other children.
2. Analiese is getting a few hours worth of exercise.  We try to pick a day in which it is snowing or raining to come so that we do not mind being inside.  I know that it will be nice in the summer as well.  Free WiFi and free air conditioning is not worth passing up.
3. It gets me out talking to other moms.  While I have a wonderful network of friends they are all a result of my oldest daughter.  I have no friends with children Analiese’s age.
4. Going to play at McDonalds forces me to get out of the house!  I know that this sounds like it is not a huge thing.  I hate leaving the house.  I do not know why but getting out is not easy for me.  We schedule one day a week to go and play.  This means that at least one day a week I leave the house during the day.
5. Going to McDonalds is also  a great parenting tool.  If Analiese is out of line I simply tell her that we will not be able to go to play at McDonalds and she is all of a sudden better!  It is a miracle.

If you have a McDonalds with a play place and a free WiFi I say go.  Even if you just buy a coffee or a soda.  It is well worth the trip.  It also makes me one of the coolest moms Analiese knows and that makes us both happy.

Becca

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Some exciting news for Harry Potter fans just came off of the presses.  The Associated Press reports that “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” is opening in Discovery Time Square’s this week.  “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” will be a magical experience for fans both young and old.  There will be original artifacts from J.K. Rowling‘s seven part series as well as from the movies.

So what can one expect to see?  Rumor has it that you will be able to sit in Hagrid’s chair and even see how you would fair in a Quidditch competition!  Who would not think of that as a good time?  You will be able to take a stroll through the halls of Hogwarts and try on the Sorting Hat to see which house you belong to!  Of course “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” will have some of the original clothing worn by cast members young and old.

“Harry Potter: The Exhibition” has already been to many cities across the United States.  Those cities include Chicago, Seattle, and Boston.  I hear that even Toronto had the magic of Harry Potter brought to Canada.  While you have time to see “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” you do not want to wait too long!  “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” will be moving on to its next city on September 5.

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Somehow without me noticing something cool came out.  Crayola developed bubbles that blow in vivid colors.  This is a new exciting twist in the old world of bubbles!  I never would have imagined being able to blow blue or orange bubbles.  The bubbles sell in three packs for the ticket price of $10.  On the front of the bottle these bubbles claim to be washable.  There of course seems to be many warnings on these special new bubbles.

1. Before use, test on an inconspicuous area and let dry.  Wash off to make sure bubbles do not stain.
2. Do not use at weddings of indoors.
3. Keep away from brick, vinyl, finished and unfinished wood, wallpaper, painted walls, carpeting, draperies and other materials that cannot be laundered.

Washing instructions are not all that simple either.  There is a whole section on the bottle that states how garments should be washed if a spill occurs:

1. Wash immediately.
2. Wash with hot water only
3. Do not use stain lifters because they make the stain worse.

It seems that although colored bubbles sound like a lot of fun they are not.  Parents are outraged and comments are coming in from around the nation.  Reviews on Amazon are unfavorable to say the least.  Out of 48 customer reviews only 2 parents gave Crayola Colored Bubbles 5 stars.  From there it is all down hill!  2 customer reviews gave the bubbles 3 stars and 42 reviews gave these seemingly wonderful bubble only one star.  The ratings at Toys R Us are no better.   With 15 reviews total I only see 1 5 star review and the remaining 14 reviews are all one star reviews.

So the moral of the story is this.  Although these bubbles sound like a blast they are anything but!  They are messy, stain everything they come into contact with, and worst of all many people stated that they do not even float well.  My advice is to stay away from this in Easter baskets this year.  The mess alone makes this novelty not worth it!

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Tomorrow is the big day that I have been waiting for.  Hop is coming to a movie theater near me!  I have been begging my kids to go to see Hop for about a month now and think that I have finally convinced them. There are of course reasons that I want to go and see this movie.

1. Hop the movie has the funniest actor in a long time in a lead roll.  Russell Brand has been in many recent movies that I have laughed uncontrollably while watching.  He is full of whit, his accent makes him cute although  I am in no way impressed by his unkempt appearance.
2. It is a kids Easter movie.  The last kids Easter movie I remember is Peter Cotton Tail!  It has been a while.
3. I love how the Easter Bunny in “Hop” is from Easter Island.  What a great idea!
4. After watching “Hop: HBO’s First Look” I knew that I wanted to see this one.  It looks like a great laugh for audiences both young and old!  There are laughs for the kids and some that are there just for adults.
5. I know that it will be a great jump start for the often overlooked Easter season.
6. It has been a great incentive to get work done in our house in preparation for the new baby!

I cannot wait to hear what you all think.  Hop sounds like a wonderful family film that will have to become a family Easter tradition in our house!  Goodness knows that there are not enough Easter Traditions out there.

Becca

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Levittown Hurricane Grill Wings

Just in time for the latest winter blast Hurricane Grill and Wings is opening up in Levittown, Long Island.  Its like a slice of Key West in the middle of the North Pole, I mean New York.  I cant wait to stop by while visiting some of my grade school friends in Nassau County.  We will be there pretending to be on a warm tropical island while watching the Jets as they go all the way! Hopefully…  When it warms up though we have a picnic planned in Eisenhower Park with many many Hurricane wings.  We spent dozens of summers there as kids chasing the geese and fishing for the tiny fish in the man-made pond.

It has been so cold up here this winter that Hurricane Grill and Great Wolf Lodge are my top two picks for family outings.  The kids definitely agree! Those Category 5 wings warm me up in a flash!

Check out their facebook page to see the yummy photos & deals; http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hurricane-Grill-Wings-Levittown-NY/142582229133210

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I have to admit that each year it is something that the kids look forward to.  We even had grandma and pop-pop over to join in the fun.  I had dinner ready when daddy got home and we were carving pumpkins by 7:15.  We scooped and scooped.  By the time it was 8pm no pumpkins were carved!  So I missed Scared Shrekless and carved pumpkins all alone.

I am sure that the kids will remember that we “carved” pumpkins this year.  Their memories are never what we think they are.  I missed the kids sorting out seeds with me.  As I sat at the table at 1am picking pumpkin seed out of pumpkin goo I began to wonder why we did not choose to do pumpkins last weekend like I had wanted to.

So here they are.  I did ask the kids what shapes they wanted to pumpkin faces to have before carving.  Rather then buying pumpkin stencils this year I just cut out some shapes and held them on as I carved.  It was great and best of all free… other then the pumpkins that is.

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This movie was a super cute Barbie Movie, Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale .  As many of you know I have 3 girls.  Abby is 10 next week, Em is 6 and Liesie is 3.  We popped some popcorn and settled down to watch Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale.  I would have to say that I think that this movie is better for the older two than the baby.  There is acting, fashion, teen love drama, good verse evil,  and happy endings.  There are many lessons to be learned in this movie!

• Forgiveness:  Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale focuses on how important it is to forgive people.  Even a misunderstanding with Ken ends well in the end.
• Things are not always what they appear to be.  Between Ken “breaking up” with Barbie and Barbie’s Aunt closing the shop.
• You get more with kindness.  Barbie and Aliese are kind and the flaries are inspired by them.  This is not so true of the competition.
• Think positive and good things will come to you.
• Fashion design is a career and it is something that takes time and hard work.
• Never give up.  No matter what Ken did not give up.  Trust me there were a bunch of things that went wrong.

Barbie: a Fashion Fairytale came to DVD and Blue Ray this week.  I would highly recommend that if you have some little princesses in your house who love Barbie you grab your copy today.  The price is right at $15 or less.  I know that Shoprite (our local grocery store) has it for $9.99!  I know that my girls have watched it again and again.  I am sure that your girls will love it too!

I would just like to state that I did received this DVD at no cost from MomSelect and Mattel for review.  I am not being compensated for this post.

Becca

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Last night we went to the Concert in the park with the kids.  We packed up a picnic and chairs and were off for the evening.  The kids were able to run all around and be kids and we were able to enjoy the music.  This is a 100% free event which is something that I always love.  The band was actually really good and played tunes from the beetles to John Lennon.  It is nice that there are still free things to do out there in the world.  With the economy in shambles and people struggling to put food into their mouths it is nice that there was something out there that could be enjoyed.  I think that sitting back, relaxing with the family while listening to some great music is what summer is all about.

Becca

With all of the hustle and bustle of ballet, girl scouts, 4H, and drama classes it is nice to get away for a day of fun all together. The girls love picking their apples and I think that there is a certain pride that comes with doing it yourself. They go to school and tell their friends that they picked the apples all by themselves. To top it all of apples are quite healthy for all of us! We love to go to Soons orchard in New Hampton New York. It is just an hour ride from New York City and well worth the trip.

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