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Is My Baby Blind? Part II

March 17, 2009 By 9 Comments

From here I could tell that the Dr. was worried too.  He was trying not to let me know.  As he set down the flashlight that he had been shining into Analiese’s eyes he picked up a great big bright toy!  I thought that she would for sure watch this.  He moved it slowly back and forth in front of her.  She just stared into space as if there was noting there.   The Dr. then went to his tie that he was wearing, which was also bright, and waved it back and forth slowly and yet again nothing.analiese-coming-home-from-h1

By this point I was standing there watching this thinking, “you have to be kidding me!”  I had told the Dr. about my concern, but Analiese  should have come into the office and looked at him and track things and show that I am a worry wart.  She was supposed to prove me wrong.  By this point I was FLIPPING out inside.  All of a sudden he stopped moving his tie and accepted defeat.  I was right!

At this moment he said he was sending her to a pediatric opthomolgist.  He had given me a name of one and he was even nice enough to schedule the appointment.  I know from my other children and all of their issues that this is not a good thing!  It is actually a really bad thing when your Dr. feels that he needs to sit down and call another Dr.  Now I was again FLIPPING out inside.

On the way home I called my mother-in-law.  She is like my best friend.  She is the one I always call first.  Tears were welling in my eyes and I told her how the appointment had gone.  She was silent!  This is never good.  She usuaully has so much to say.  She tells you that it is all fine and she tells you that it is just a precaution.  She helps you figure out how to fix it.  This itme though she was silent.

I felt like it was 10 minutes before she said anything.  I am sure it was more like 1 minute but to me it felt like an eternity.  Here I was looking for infinate wisdom and all I got was silence!  Then she spoke and she was alomst yelling, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!”  I said,  “well no I am not.”  This was me stalling while still waiting for her to reassure me!  Then she said, “I am speachless.  How much crap can be put on your plate?  I just cannot believe this!”

It was then that I cried.  She was right.  I already had a child with Mastocytosis, undiagnosed bipolar and another child with Cerebral Palsy.  When would God think that enough was enough?  Why me is all I kept saying.  I am a good person.  I have always been overly kind even to nasty people.  I went to church on an almost regular basis.  Why was God doing this to me?  All I had ever wanted out of life was to be a mother and have the “perfect” family.  This mess was anything from perfect!

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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My 100th Post!!

March 17, 2009 By 2 Comments

I cannot believe it.  This is my 100th post.  I am excited and amazed.  I started blogging so that I could write and express myself.  I am beginning to get to know some of you now and feel great about it all.  100th-post-picture1

I am amazed that I have had 100 things to write about.   You see I love to write and was encouraged to do this by my mother in law.  She feels that writing is something that I excel at and this gives me the chance to do it and work on it while I am home with my babies.  She has always told me to, “write about what you know”.  I think that I have taken these words to heart.  At this stage what I know is my kids.

I certainly do not sit here and claim to know all kids.  You see all children are different.  All children react in different ways!  From this 100th post I hope to bloom and do 1000 more!  I hope to uplift people, help them understand that no life is perfect, help people see that differences are not a bad thing and perhaps even make some friends along the way.

I would also like to say THANK YOU to all of you who have become regular readers.  It makes me so happy when people comment and add to the topic.  Without this no blog would be complete!

Becca

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Is My Baby Blind?? Part 1

March 16, 2009 By 23 Comments

analiese-coming-home-from-h

In order to tell this tale I will have to take you back almost two years.  There are two reasons that this story has popped back into my mind this week.  The first reason is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, this month is disabilities awareness month.  The second reason is because in May my “baby” will be 2!

I have to take you back to when the baby was just that, a baby!  I already had two older kids who were now 3 and 6.  They were so excited to have a new little sister.  I remember when they came to the hospital.  Emma who was three at the time was so excited about this new responsibility being thrust upon her and Abigail acted like it was nothing new but she was still excited.

As the baby grew over the next few months I noticed a few things.  She would not look at me.  In my mommy heart I knew that this was not a typical thing.  Then I started to notice that she was not tracking things at all.  In my head I kept saying, “she is fine.  You are just worried because of Emma (who has CP).”  Then I had noticed that she wanted to be held all of the time!  She hated being in a swing and would scream like she was scared if she was anywhere but my arms.

Because she is my baby and most likely the last I was kind of happy about it.  I helped her more then the others and was happy to do so.  She loved it when I played music and talked to her as long as I was holding her.

As the months went on the fact that she was not looking me in the face or tracking the fun toys I was waving in front of her was more and more obvious.  She looked through me.  Certainly not at me.  She would smile a little but was not mimicking faces.  So by the time she was three months old I was worried!  I had decided to ask the Dr. what was going on.

So as we went into her three month appointment I began to worry more and more.  I went through everything with him and when he asked about concerns I blurted out that she is looking through me!  I was on the verge of tears and took a breathe.  Then I explained how she was not looking at bright objects, she was not looking at my face, she would not stay unless held and she was not tracking.  I blurted all of this out as quick as I could.  The next part was for him to tell me that I am being a paranoid mother and to go home.  Well that is not quite how it happened.  He began to wave a light in front of her and nothing!  Her pupils were responsive but it was like she could not tell he was shining a light right into her face.  She did not blink, her eyes did not tear, NOTHING happened.

Links to the Full Series

Baby Blind Part I
Baby Blind Part II
Baby Blind Part III
Baby Blind Part IV
Baby Blind Part V

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My Emma is Sick!!

March 15, 2009 By 8 Comments
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So after all of the flu hype around here recently, Emma is sick.  I just cannot believe it.  She developed a fever last night.  I am just so worried about it!  I know in my head that I am being silly but really I am worried.  I wanted to sit in bed with her all night and make sure that she was OK.  I wanted to tell her I loved her 1000000000 times just in case something terrible happened.

Emma has had a flu shot and I am sure that it is something else like an ear infection.  All I know is when her temperature read 102.4 I was worried.  I was scared.  I prayed.  Yes I know that it seems silly but I guess that I am still shaken a little by the entire thing!  I just want my baby to be alright.  When ever Emma gets sick she does it right.  She gets a high fever and cannot function.  I think that in part this is due to the cerbral palsy.  Her muscles just do not seem to be able to do anything.

I still pray that my baby Emma will be alright with this whole thing.  I cannot bring her to the doctor because it is Sunday.  Poor Emma is missing her first Saint Patrick’s Day parade today.  She was suposed to march in honor of the young girl who died.  Some Girl Scouts have chosen to march in memory of her but I guess we will miss it and stay home sick!

Becca

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Killer Flu!

March 14, 2009 By 11 Comments
DENPASAR, INDONESIA - NOVEMBER 7: A scientist...
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Earlier this week I had written about a friends daughter who died suddenly last Saturday.    It turned out that she had the flu which caused her to pass way before her time.  I am floored by this.  This is, thank God, the first year that all of my kids had a flu shot.  I am thanking my lucky stars now.  This strain of the flu is aggressive.  She had not felt well the evening before and died 24 hours later!

In wake of this I hear that the schools will be undergoing massive cleanings this weekend.  The department of health is also offering free flu vaccines tomorrow!  It makes me think though.  I cannot tell you how many times I let my kids be sick.  I am not one to rush to the Dr. the second they get a fever.  I let them work through for a day or two.  Runny noses are never a second though.   I assume that it is a cold and move on.  I know that there are a lot of other parents out there like me.  I know that I am not alone.

This also makes me think about the flu.  Why is this strain of the flu so strong that it is killing people within 24 hours.  I heard about a week before this happen that there were two other girls who died on Long Island.  The day that this child died another girl on Staten Island died of the flu as well.  Why are the strains of the flu suddenly so strong?  Perhaps the flu is becoming stronger because we keep fighting it with vaccines?  Is it possible that in the long run we are doing more harm then good?

I am not a scientist so who knows.   All I know is that I am now a little worried about my kids.  Will the same fate fall upon my babies?  How do we know how much longer we will have with anyone we love?  I am again thinking about how I want to make each day count.  I want them to know that they were loved and have a happy home!

Becca

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    Pirate Party Time

    March 13, 2009 By 7 Comments

    For Emma’s Birthday Party this year we had a pirate princess party.  It was a lot of fun and we let our imaginations get away from us!  I had some friends help out from Floppy and Pals!  all of the kids had a great time.  Here a few of the things that we did:pirate-emma I cannot reveal all of my secrets though!

    1. We had a great scavenger hunt that led the kids all around the house in search of the treasure.  In the end the treasure was the Pirate Hat Cake. The kids were all so excited that it was cake time.
    2. We played a great game of freeze dance where the kids had to end up on their own island on the floor.  This was great because they got to jump all around and get out some of their pent up energy!
    3. We played pin the patch on the pirate.  This was a big pirate face that the kids were able to pin a patch onto.  The child who got the closest was aloud to pick a prize out of the treasure chest.
    4. We had the best face painter in the world painting princess and pirate faces on the boys and girls.  They always love a face painter!

    There are so many other great things that you can do at a pirate party.  My nephew had a great pirate party too!  Here are a few activities from his party that were tons of fun.

    1. My sister in law filled balloons and some had winning tags in them.  The kids had to sit on the balloons and pop them.  Once you found a winner you could go and pick out of the treasure chest.  CAUTION do not do this if they are in bathing suits!
    2. My sister in law had a pinata which the kids love.  My husband is against it though so we never get to have them!
    3. At my nephews party they also had a treasure hunt because what good pirate party would not have you hunt for booty?
    4. The kids had a talk like a pirate contest.  They all had to practice using their pirate voices to get what they wanted.  The child who did it the best for the entire party won a little extra treasure.

    There are so many other ideas for a pirate party.  Why not leave your favorite one.  This will give us all a chance to have a great pirate adventure right in our very own homes.

    Becca

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    Check this out!

    March 12, 2009 By 21 Comments

    I stumbled upon this great post and wanted to share it.   When I first read it I though of my mother-in-law.  She is sometimes to quick to get annoyed at people about silly things.  I guess that we all are at times.  Do not get me wrong she is the nicest person I know and I consider her my best friend.  She is the person that I aspire to be each and every day!  I have been with my husband since I was 14 so she really is a second mother to me.  I admire her, respect her and look up to her.  As she is getting a little older I am finding that she is a little short on the patience for others.  I had her read it and she said she would have acted the same.  I want to know after you read this how you would react to this situation!

    I just think that the message is so perfect.  I think that so many times we do things like this and there is just no need.  Check it out.  I would love to hear what you think!  http://whatisshakin.blogspot.com/2009/03/four-things-that-you-cannot-recover.html

    Becca

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    National Disability Awareness Month

    March 11, 2009 By 42 Comments
    Disabled persons
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    It has come to my attention that March is Disability Awareness Month.  Alright so I am 11 days late!  I just could not let it go without discussing it with all of you.  You see this is something that personally touches my family on a daily basis.  Two out of my three children have disabilities so you can see why I may find it so important.  It is something that I cannot to ignore.

    Emma has mild, thank God, Cerebral Palsy.  As an infant she was not able to move the left side of her body.  Drinking bottles and eating were things that she had to be taught how to do.  She has had motor planning issues associated with this muscle weakness and has a very weak upper body.  This weakness impacts her speech, ability to run and play easily like other kids do and her ability to learn at the same rate as the other children.

    As an infant we made sure that Emma received Early Intervention.  I feel that it is why she is doing as good as she is.  From the time she was 5 months old until the time she was three we would have 7-9 visits from therapists a week.  She would also go to a parent tot gymnastics program and counseling was available to anyone in the family.  New York really holds their Early Intervention program to high standards and I think that this is the only reason that Emma has done so well.

    Today Emma still has some issues.  They are certainly noticable to me but if I did not tell you; you would never know.  Emma was mainstreamed in kindergarten this year.  She is behind the rest of the kids but still showing progress.  She can walk and talk although she gets tired much quicker then other kids.  She has broken out of her shell this year and socializes with the other kids.  I am so proud of how far we have come in 5 years.  5 years ago she could not move half of her body and now she is running with the other kids.  Even if it is a few paces behind she is still doing it!

    Abigail has an emotional disability which is called bipolar.  This has been a tough one.  She rages, goes from extreme to extreme and is always angry.  In her fits she has told her sisters that she is going to kill them.  She throws all of the pictures off of her walls and her books off of their shelves.  She even has tried on more then one occasion to jump out of second story windows and has tried to jump out of a moving car.  She does not think through consequences and is VERY difficult.

    The thing about Abigail that just breaks my heart is that she does not want to act like this.   She has cried many times after telling me that she wants to die.  She has told me that she tries so hard to keep it together.  She has told me that she just hates herself and that she is like this.  It breaks my heart.

    We just started Abigail on medication.  I have read that with bipolar it is about the only way to assure that they will feel more balanced, more like you and I feel.  This is a disease that children suffer with.  I feel that medication is the same as giving a child medication for diabetes or a heart condition.  How could you not treat it.  The statistics of the suicide rate is enough to make me want my daughter on medication.  Medication also reduces the likelihood of future drug abuse.

    So there you have it.   The most intimate parts of my life!  These kids are everything to me.  When I was discussing this with them they had a few things to add.

    1. Please do not look at me funny.  I am a kids with feelings just like anyone else they get hurt.  With Abigail I think that they are hurt even more then your average kids.
    2. Do not be afraid to play with kids who are different.  Once you are with them you will see that they are not as different as you thought!
    3. Be kind and respectful.  Even though these kids are not what you would call “normal” they are kids!  They respond best to kindness just as any other kid would.

    I think that we should all take a little time this month to think about these children and adults.  They are still people.  Their feelings are hurt with every weird eye people look at them with.  They are hurt a little deeper each time!  Please educate yourself and your children about disabilities and why it is so important to treat everyone, including the people who are different, with kindness and respect.

    Becca

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    Healthy Snacks for Kids

    March 10, 2009 By 13 Comments
    Fresh vegetables are common in a healthy diet.
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    This post is not what you think.  I am not going to sit here and give you great ideas for healthy snacks.  Perhaps another time will be more fitting.  No today I am going to complain!  At school the kids are in a healthy eating program.  They are supposed to bring in only healthy snacks for the rest of the year.  To be honest this in no way worries me because I always send in fruit and water or a juice box.  I tend to lean to the healthier snacks.  Here is where my annoyance arises.

    The other day I was speaking with another mother, OK it was my sister in law, but she is still a mother.  She had said a friend of hers had recieved a phone call from the nurse.  I had assumed that this phone call meant that her children, who are in the same grades as my children, had cooties or something.  I listened carefully to find out what is going around so that I could try and avoid it.  Kids get the nastiest things you know.

    The mother continued to tell me that she received this call from the nurse and that it was to lecture her on sending in healthy snacks.  I was appalled.  This is a single mother with two kids.  Her kids get free breakfast and free lunch.  She is currently on food stamps while in college trying to rebuild her life.  Is this really what the nurse had to say? My sister in law’s friend told the nurse to feel free to buy her kids a healthy snack.  She explained that they were on food stamps and that she has a limited amount of money to feed them a month.   She expressed that junk cost a whole lot less and if she were to spend more money on the healthy snacks she may not be able to feed them dinner for the whole month.

    I am not sure what the nurse had to say after this point.  There are a few things that I was thinking about though!

    1. The first is that this mother who is trying to make a better life then had to explain it all to the school nurse because she sent her kids into school with a baggie of chips?
    2. The second thing that came to my mind is that she is 100% right.  It is very expensive to eat healthy.  While eating healthy should not be based on income it so is.
    3. The third thing that I was thinking about is why does the school sell bags of chips if they are not a healthy enough snack option?
    4. The fourth thing that I was thinking is why doesn’t the school nurse have anything better to do with her time?  Is her job really so lame that she has to call and harass a mother who is struggling to make it?

    I am glad that I have not gotten a call.  I pack a healthy snack everyday anyway.  I just think that we are free Americans and if we want our kids to eat chips for snack we should be aloud!  How would you handle it if you received a call like this?

    Becca

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    Death of a Child

    March 9, 2009 By 32 Comments

    This weekend something quite heart wrenching happened to someone I know.  It has shaken me to the core of my sole.  I am a Girl Scout Leader and the worst thing has happened to another leader’s daughter.  She died two nights ago.  My thoughts and prayers are with them.  I just cannot imagine if it were me.  For the past 48 hours that is all I have done.  I cannot stop imagining.

    I have not spoken to the mother herself but from what I understand their daughter was feeling a little sick on Friday.  By Saturday morning she had a fever and her mother took her to the doctor.  The doctor assured her that her daughter was fine and sent them home.  The rest of the day her daughter rested.  Then, as the mother was going to bed, the mother went to check in on her daughter. She found her daughter in distress.  I guess at this point she called 911 but it is too late.

    I am crying while typing.  This woman has a heart of gold.  She is about the nicest woman you ever wat to meet.  Her daughter was only 12 years old.  Her life ended much too quickly.  As of now they do not know what caused her death.  Her parents sat around waiting to hear from the medical examiner all day yesterday.

    I guess my point in posting this is to remind all of us of a few things:

    1. Even though your kids annoy you smile and let it go.  They are just kids.
    2. Kiss them and hold them every chance you get.  You never know when it will be the last time.
    3. Always say I love you before they leave.

    I know this all seems so obvious and simple but think about it.  I am sure that there are days that you are in a rush and forget to kiss them.  I am sure that there are days when you just wish they would leave you alone!  I am sure that there are days when I love you does not leave your mouth.  I just know I would not want that day to be my daughters last!

    Becca

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